Oh. Um. Hi.

 

I wasn’t actually expecting anyone to notice right away that I was semi-back on line.  So to begin with, thank you all you (real) people* who posted in response to last night’s brief appearance.  It’s been a long time coming, the new blog, and then it happened and I didn’t realise it had happened, but I got an email come-on from WordPress saying, hey!  Why don’t you log in!, and I thought, ha ha ha, since my tech karma has been even worse than usual . . . most of the last year.**  Or possibly century.  My sense of time is not good.  A long time.

Of course I had an interesting time, logging in, and after I had given up and was going to talk to Blogdad*** in the morning, I had this new email**** offering me a WordPress password reset link.  In a fit of painful hilarity I clicked on it . . . and it let me do it.  So, lightheaded with a previously unknown rapture, I thought I’d try posting a few words because that certainly wouldn’t work.

. . . Some things don’t change.  I’m now up to and over my old-standard post length having told you a very long story in the footnotes.

Thanks for reading.

* * *

* And all you bots, go away.  Presumably there is a blocking add-on on the to-do list^ somewhere.  Meanwhile, if I inadvertently delete anyone real—and two comments have come in twice, and I’ve deleted one of each of these, but if this bounces back to the sender as refused and rejected I’m very sorry but I haven’t deleted you, I’ve only exorcised your doppelganger.

^ Not my to-do list!  Blogdad’s [sic]!+

+ It’s a long story.  I’m coming to it.

** For example.  The faithful Pooka, who is a 4s, and therefore something like six years old, which is beyond Methuselah in iPhone terms, has been failing.  She has totally earned her retirement, and I wish all my tech were this reliable.^  I waffled exceedingly about how to replace her, assuming it would be a 7 or an 8 and did I want the same little-pocket size or go up to the large-palm size, and of course I was going to stay with the little one because the whole bigger-harder-faster-more thing is bogus and a pain in the rear.  And then Hannah^^ said that she wished she’d got the bigger size and I thought, oh.  Crap.  It was at about this interesting point of nonprogress that I started reading reviews of the X.  I never meant even to read reviews of the X, but as soon as you start googling iPhones, the X appears and sits on your chest like an incubus.  And maybe all the reviewers have the same contact lens prescription or maybe Apple slipped them all the same eyeball enhancer in their beer at the launch event, but there is a curious unanimity that the screen on the X is a Significant Leap Forward, in fact the First Significant Leap Forward in screen fabulousness since the iPhone was first unveiled to a breathless world.  And I want Pooka Mach 2 to last as long as the original did.^^^  And I don’t want Hannah, the next time she’s here, to say, oh, you should have got the X!  The screen is amazing! 

So I bought the X.  It only took a third mortgage and half of a fourth.^^^^

Raphael, Computer Angel,% set her up for me, making soothing noises%% as he did so, and slipping so softly out the front door afterward that the Pooka 2 didn’t immediately notice that she was alone with me.  AND IT WAS A FRIDAY AFTERNOON.  All went . . . um . . . reasonably well . . . um.  At first.  And then I tried to buy something.  Maybe Apple was satiated with the price of the X herself and thought having fun was worth a few pence of app sales.

The App Store wouldn’t let me buy anything.

I found myself in an endless loop of putting in my password and being sent to my Verification Page, which is the same frelling verification page I’ve had for six years, and when I ‘confirmed’ it . . . I was back at the putting-in-my-password screen.  And I put in my password, and then . . .

This went on for MOST OF THE WEEKEND.  There were occasional excursions into supporting documentation like the pop up that said, We won’t charge you till you buy something!  I’m only frelling here because I’m trying to buy something. 

Finally, staring at the (*&^%$£”!!!!!!!!!!! verifrellingcation page for the 1,000,000,000,000th time with hot eyes and smoke coming out of my ears . . . I stripped everything out of the thrice-blasted form and put it all back in again EXACTLY THE SAME WAY IT HAD BEEN BEFORE.

And I went and tried to download my rhyming dictionary.  Which actually tried to download . . . briefly . . . I GOT ALL EXCITED . . . and then it stopped.

And there was the verification page again.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.

So staring with even hotter eyes, and the dense red-streaked black smoke boiling out of my ears was definitely contributing to the national air pollution level, I noticed that the frellingfrellingfrellingFRELLING page had REMOVED the three back-of-card confirmation numbers.  Which I had just put in, with everything else, about thirty seconds ago.

So I put them back in.

AND IT WORKED.  I COULD BUY STUFF.  TELL ME WHY IT WORKED.

No, better not.  I probably couldn’t take the strain.

^ Not that she hasn’t had her little ways.  But you only say nice things at retirement parties.+

+ It was however difficult to find a gold watch small enough.  And we had to put her on a stepladder to be visible over the podium.

^^ My BFF.+  I haven’t figured out about the seamless segue from the old blog, which is to say there isn’t going to be a seamless segue from the old blog.  So one of the prominent seams with raggedy stitches is that I’ll probably remind everyone of regular recurring blog characters.  Hannah is a good place to start.

+ For getting on forty years.  EEEEEEEP.

^^^ Never make plans concerning technology!  Never.  Make.  PLANS!

^^^^ The price is obscene.  But the way they have you by the throat is just the way it doodahdoodahBADLANGUAGEdoodahdoodah is.  WHICH? magazine reviewed the X and said it was pretty well as wonderful as its reputation, except for the price, but not to worry because some of its rivals are less expensive and nearly as good.  No they freaking aren’t.  In the first place you have to go Android, and I’ve already made that choice once and I have a very small brain and I am NOT going to learn a whole flapdoodling new flapdoodling system, thank you very much . . . and in the second place the equivalent Androids aren’t that much cheaper.

And then the so-called choices Apple does give you:  storage size, for example.  You can have something the size of a plastic bucket a kiddie takes down to the seaside to pile sand in . . . or you can have something the size of a planet.  Jupiter, say.  Or Kepler-1647.  Nothing in between.   So how many people are going to spend what amounts to the GNP of Brazil on a piece of tech and only be able to keep a few handfuls of sand in it?  Even for a savings of seven pounds sixty-three?  NOT VERY MANY.

% Speaking of important recurring blog characters.  RAPHAEL.  COMPUTER ANGEL.  MAKE A NOTE.

%% Although I’m not sure if these were for me or the iPhone.  The spells tech wizards and Computer Angels perform to get their rabble to behave are beyond mere human comprehension.

** Most of my email isn’t working.  For example.  Did I say anything about worse-than-usual tech karma?  Yes.

*** Hee hee hee hee

**** Sometimes it works.

54 thoughts on “Oh. Um. Hi.”

  1. YOU’RE BACK!!! I’m so happy that you’re back. I was beginning to be afraid you’d fallen off the planet or something equally awful. Welcome back!!

  2. Wonderful to have you back!!!

    I’ve not even looked at the X yet for fear of attraction unrefusable. I see it in my future though.

  3. I am incredibly grateful you are here, I’ve missed your voice tremendously. You are one of the reasons I made it through a not terribly nice childhood (longer ago than my brain will admit, although my body reminds me of this daily in new, unpleasant ways) and you make a difference for the better to me. Thanks for being there!

  4. Hey!!! you’re back!! and with footnotes!!! an essay full!! eeeeeeee!!!!! *does a happy dance* 🙂 I’m sooo glad you’re back , you’re as fun to read as always, and more importantly you’re doing ok (tech issues aside 😉 seriously glad I don’t have tech that *refuses* to let me buy stuff.., although the family would disagree XD . What’s with that anyways? isn’t tech supposed to encourage you to buy stuff?….. ahem… ) !
    I was eyeing up the recent blog notifications wondering if it was real or not, so this just made my day! Yay!!!

  5. Glad to hear you beat the computer daemons, and glad the iphone angel is on your side. Love from Borage, Nellie and Nemo

  6. So TERRIBLY glad you’re back online! Congrats on Pooka2, may she have a long and prosperous lifetime. [bows, makes elaborate hand gestures of suitably techy nature]

  7. I’m am beyond happy to find you back again!! Just wanted to tell you that I have been worried about you for many months now. Now I am relieved and hope to see many blog posts from you in the future and maybe a new book??

  8. Glad to see the blog is back! I thought that there was a ghost in the system when email notification suddenly started again.

  9. Dear Robin,

    Glad to see you back online!

    I’ve been rereading much of your backlist and hoping strongly that you continue writing. I know life has kicked you in the teeth recently, but please don’t let that steal your talent.

  10. You’ve seen those videos where the dog sees his person for the first time after a long absence? It’s like that. Yay.

  11. So very good to see you back online if only a small bit. The wool vendors were getting worried. You know how easy it is for a member of the writer’s knitting mafia to go missing. 🙂

  12. Welcome back! I was so sad your old blog disappeared… I had two episodes left of Kes, and came back the next day and it was all gone! Is that coming back anytime? I was hopeful you were alive and back when I got an email update about the last new post, then concerned about if it was actually you or not. But this one is unquestionably you, footnotes and all. 🙂

  13. So glad to see something other than the dreaded blue page of “if this is your blog contact ??? et cetera”. I was too discouraged to check in each day as I had been for over a year…and then I missed your re-appearance! I am beyond happy you’re alive and, I hope, well. I would love to have access to previous archives, I miss visiting the posts and pictures, but will eagerly take whatever you post.

  14. Welcome back, Hellgoddess! You have been MISSED. Of course I don’t begrudge you time spent making tea and hurtling dog-shaped bolts of lightning and generally living life instead of writing blog entries, it’s just that I’ve been keeping up with the blog so long that no hiatus can prevent me from often thinking good thoughts of you and yours, and worrying a little because I can’t help it, and hoping you are well.

  15. Oh I am so relieved and happy that YOU ARE BACK. Online that is. Assume you weren’t vanished from any other sphere.

  16. Good to see you back! I hadn’t noticed the previous brief appearance, but I’ve been out a lot recently and have given up keeping up with twitter on such occasions (also, I don’t know if that one propagated to twitter anyway…).

  17. I missed your hilarious footnotes and voice terribly. Hannah may very well be your BFF but we all feel special and part of your life when you post. (Yes, we are creepy book nerdling stalkers… you don’t mind, right?)
    I heard the new pixil was decent enough to get some of us from buying the X. I’ll let you know what I decide in 5 years or so when I can afford one!
    Glad you’re back.

  18. So happy to have you back online! I’ve been reading your books for 20 years, and discovered the blog back in 2008… Have been one of the daily readers / checkers, but never participated in the old forum. Then, when you disappeared from online and the blog went dark, I felt so terrible that I had never commented saying THANK YOU for writing your books of course, but also the blog! A huge time commitment, I know. I so appreciate your sharing bit of life, authoring, dogs. Very glad you’re back and I’m sorry it’s taken me a decade to comment 🙂

  19. Hallelujah, YOU’RE BACK!!!!
    really really missed you although I kept reading various faves of your bibliography until black mold nearly killed me and all my household goods went into storage but YOU ARE BACK!!!
    Thank you!
    PS have a 4s and she’s really an oldie but goodie but I’m going to let her decide when she wants to join the great tech scrap heap in the sky…
    WELCOME BACK!

  20. Ugh, I would describe technology as a bear if it wouldn’t be a disservice to bears everywhere. I’m still limping along on my 5c myself, hoping it lasts just a little longer! Welcome back and best of luck with posting!

  21. So thrilled to see you online again, Robin. I have been re-reading your books lately so I can’t say I’ve missed your voice, but I’ve missed the updates.

  22. What timing that I think to look you up while procrastinating at work a bit, wondering if you still had a web presence (it’s been years since I checked in on your old site)…and lo, a freshly launched blog to read your voice on. Glad you’re back!

  23. You’re BACK! And you brought us FOOTNOTES! YAY!!! You’ve been missed, and I’m another who was worried but tried not to worry because you were probably just out living your life like a normal person. 🙂

  24. I am glad to see you back too. I just did a search to see if there was any news of you and your new blog showed up. Happy Day! I, too, was afraid something had happened to you.

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