So, I finally have the membership cards for the Klutz Klub:
Download a printable, full-color high-resolution PDF (2MB):
Bookmarks will print one per page, approximately 8″ long.
Some of you may be mistaking this for a bookmark. I acknowledge it bears a strong family resemblance to a bookmark and is capable of performing bookmark functions. But really what it is is a membership card to the Klutz Klub. Some of you may remember, a month or three ago, my referring to my friend Clio having broken her elbow ice skating, and saying in an aside to Blackbear, who I think at that point had recently shut her hand in her garage door, hey, should we let her into the Klutz* Klub? And there was a rather astonishing outpouring of anecdotes from other people who felt they should also be members. Hmmm, I thought. There Is An Opportunity Here. And then Putnams sent me a pdf of their new bookmark and I recognised it at once as its true self, the Klutz Klub Membership Card! So, all you need to do to obtain your very own Klutz Klub Membership Card is post an exciting personal anecdote describing why you should be a member, and then send me firstname.lastname@example.org [yes, I’m FINALLY changing over to my own domain name] your street address, so I can send it to you. And if anyone comes up to you on the tube/subway/queue at the grocery store/backstage at the opera and says, Hey! What a great bookmark!, be sure and tell them it’s not a bookmark, and to check out the Klutz Klub on http://robinmckinleysblog.com .And if you are really disgustingly neat, coordinated, focussed and fault-free, in the first place I hate you, but in the second place, if you still want a membership card because it’s so beautiful and besides will look so excellent pretending to be a bookmark and poking out of any one of your copies of Robin McKinley’s books, you’re allowed to post a favourite anecdote of a partner, parent, domestic animal, etc. I will further observe that while there’s no way to police these, I’d like them to be true stories**, and I also really don’t want stories of serious blood and pain.*** We’re looking for the little dumb why-am-I-such-a-klutz stuff.
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* Blog readers with really tiresome memories may even remember that its original name was Spaz Club. But ‘spaz’ still may be used as a term of disrespect to people with cerebral palsy, which, you will know, is not what I have in mind.
** A little exaggeration for dramatic effect is allowable. ‘And then the Rottweiler lifted its lip and growled, and I stepped backwards . . . ‘ is a permissable exchange for ‘and then the Chihuahua lifted its lip and growled, and I stepped backwards . . . ‘ although frankly those little needle teeth on little bitty dogs hurt like blazes, especially if they nip in UNDER your trouser leg and nail your naked ankle . . . ask me how I know this. . . .
*** If there’s serious blood and pain going on, let us know and we’ll light candles.
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