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Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14638]

Fri, 10 April 2009 19:17

Black Bear
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Location: Indianapolis, IN USA

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Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles. Oh my.

_{"The time is always right to do what's right."--MLK Jr.}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14647 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Fri, 10 April 2009 19:40

southdowner
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SFX is, she tells me, publishing a special vampire issue this June, and they want to feature SUNSHINE. Stay tuned.
YAAAYY!! This magazine is distributed everywhere in the UK - even our local Sainsbury's - fingers crossed for loads of English readers all wanting McKinley backlist Smile

...and then I finally took sad neglected hellhounds for their second hurtle in full dark
No one is ever going to persuade me that hellhounds are either sad OR neglected Wink

Furthermore she already knew There Is No Sequel to SUNSHINE and Probably Never Will Be. An interviewee can hardly ask for more.
She sounds an exceptionally good interviewer - I'm a bit concerned about the state of mind of the interviewer who asked about boxing...??

I want to kill something. The terrier next door doesn’t realise what a precarious life he leads, every time I go into that bedroom while he’s performing his neighbourhood alert. There are hellhounds next door! Hellhounds! Bark! Can’t you hear me? I said hellhounds! Bark! Hellhounds! Bark barkbarkbarkbarkbark! I believe I have blogged about this before. But he keeps barking.
I'll go get the elephant gun (enough sedative to quell an average Jack Russell lol)

[Updated on: Sat, 11 April 2009 14:01]

Someone says "pie" and we all go on alert, like meercats. "Pie? Where?" - Blackbear

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14648 is a reply to message #14647 ]

Fri, 10 April 2009 19:57

Robin
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[Hellgoddess]

*I* was worried about the state of mind of the interviewer who wanted to talk about boxing. I started eyeing the door, and wondering if I could make it before she was on me. . . .

I'm not at all sure that a mere elephant gun of sedative would shut a Jack Russell up. Maybe an elephant gun AND a large towel. I'd settle for slower, and muffled. :)

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14649 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Fri, 10 April 2009 20:06

b_twin_1
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Ooooo... SFX magazine! Sounds promising! Very Happy

Bathroom/Kitchen tiles. Yes. *headdesk* There are so many. And NICE ones.
Here's a fun story. I picked out some lovely vanilla creamy tiles for my bathroom. And some very nice border tiles with a rambling rose on it. The day when I went to see them being installed I noticed that some of the border tiles had been *cut* (and not for the corners etc). I said.."???" And was told (rather grumpily in fact, but then again he WAS Grumpy) that since the border tiles were 5mm longer than the wall tiles they had to be cut, otherwise (like bricks) they wouldn't line up with the wall tiles. .......
I try not to scream every time I look at them. (Not helped by the fact the grout wasn't properly wiped off the textured border tiles.)

¤¤ So, how do you feel about princesses who hang around wringing their hands and waiting for princes to rescue them?
Hmmmm Depends on my mood at the time. If I am cranky you can be sure the Princesses will be waiting a *long time*. Razz

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14651 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Fri, 10 April 2009 20:21

jmeadows
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Hurrah interview! I'm glad to hear it went well!

Tile now, too? Goodness. It never ends.

Smooshes!

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14656 is a reply to message #14649 ]

Fri, 10 April 2009 22:24

kfoster2047
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Registered: January 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC

Senior Member

Arrgh - that would drive me insane. I admit that I am somewhat (OK, maybe a lot) OCD about stuff like that but it drives me crazy when things that are supposed to line up do not. If you have different size tiles, there are many alternatives rather than destroying the tile in an attempt to force something that doesn't fit into place.

When we were laying bathroom tile in our master bathroom we wanted a small inset design. We ripped it out three times! I was literally on my knees pulling up tiles and then patiently laying them back out for the tile installer who merrily installed them wrong AGAIN - just to make them line up with the nice whole tiles around them. (And we won't even talk about the two complete layers of tile in the shower when the first layer didn't drain!)

Karen

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14661 is a reply to message #14649 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 01:05

Diane in MN
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Location: Twin Cities, MN, USA

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b_twin_1 wrote on Fri, 10 April 2009 19:06

Here's a fun story. I picked out some lovely vanilla creamy tiles for my bathroom. And some very nice border tiles with a rambling rose on it. The day when I went to see them being installed I noticed that some of the border tiles had been *cut* (and not for the corners etc). I said.."???" And was told (rather grumpily in fact, but then again he WAS Grumpy) that since the border tiles were 5mm longer than the wall tiles they had to be cut, otherwise (like bricks) they wouldn't line up with the wall tiles. .......
I try not to scream every time I look at them. (Not helped by the fact the grout wasn't properly wiped off the textured border tiles.)

And people charge you money for doing things like this! Aaarrrgh!!! And they do it everywhere! ::mutters sympathetic imprecations against idiot workmen::

_{"The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough . . . " Louise Erdrich}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14662 is a reply to message #14661 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 01:10

b_twin_1
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Diane in MN wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 01:05

b_twin_1 wrote on Fri, 10 April 2009 19:06

And people charge you money for doing things like this! Aaarrrgh!!! And they do it everywhere! ::mutters sympathetic imprecations against idiot workmen::

Yes! And I am still unsure as to whether his reasonings were reasonable at all. *sigh*

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14663 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 01:36

Diane in MN
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Registered: October 2008
Location: Twin Cities, MN, USA

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And have you ever noticed the way stuff in catalogues (and on line) which is trying to look like other stuff but cheaper, mainly looks cheaper when you see it in person??

Yup, and very depressing it is, too. Especially after some photographic genius has made those pictures look very very good.

And new light fixtures. Every time I look at the–I don’t even know what to call it–it’s a kind of plastic mother-of-pearl–in the master bedroom I want to kill something.

When we've built and had to get light fixtures, we got 50% off retail for most things at the lighting showroom used by the builder. Maybe your builder has a similar arrangement with a lighting store for additions/remodels; you could then look at replacing the tasteless horrors as part of the renovations. Smile

The terrier next door doesn’t realise what a precarious life he leads, every time I go into that bedroom while he’s performing his neighbourhood alert.

One can always hope that he will get used to your--and the hellhounds'--presence, but of course he is a terrier . . . apologies to southdowner's civilized Bullies, of course!

_{"The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough . . . " Louise Erdrich}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14664 is a reply to message #14662 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 02:35

Fake Frenchie
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Registered: November 2008
Location: France

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b_twin_1 wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 07:10

Diane in MN wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 01:05

b_twin_1 wrote on Fri, 10 April 2009 19:06

And people charge you money for doing things like this! Aaarrrgh!!! And they do it everywhere! ::mutters sympathetic imprecations against idiot workmen::

Yes! And I am still unsure as to whether his reasonings were reasonable at all. *sigh*

The work man SHOULD have adjusted the space between the tiles to catch up the 5mm. He should NOT have cut the border tiles without at least consulting you! Shoddy workmanship. But hardly surprising. This is why we do all our tiling ourselves. At least the mistakes we make will be for free!

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14665 is a reply to message #14664 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 03:25

b_twin_1
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Fake Frenchie wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 02:35

The work man SHOULD have adjusted the space between the tiles to catch up the 5mm. He should NOT have cut the border tiles without at least consulting you!

Ahhh ... Well I have learnt something (for future projects). Thank you.

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14667 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 10:18

Black Bear
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And then I potted up some nemesias in heavy twilight because they’d been waving their little fronds at me from their cardboard carton in the kitchen sink since yesterday,

I swear to god I thought this said "nemesis." Considering all the lovecraftian imagery you've been throwing around of late, I thought it not at all impossible that your nemesis might emerge from a sink drain waving menacing fronds....

[Updated on: Sat, 11 April 2009 17:44]

_{"The time is always right to do what's right."--MLK Jr.}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14671 is a reply to message #14667 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 12:48

jmeadows
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Location: Virginia, USA

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Black Bear wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 10:18

And then I potted up some nemesias in heavy twilight because they’d been waving their little fronds at me from their cardboard carton in the kitchen sink since yesterday,

I sweat to god I thought this said "nemesis." Considering all the lovecraftian imagery you've been throwing around of late, I thought it not at all impossible that your nemesis might emerge from a sink drain waving menacing fronds....

Oh thank commas. I saw nemesis first, too.

I didn't want to be the only one.

Smooshes!

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14672 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 13:44

AJLR
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Quote:

This interview appears to have produced no bruises. SFX is, she tells me, publishing a special vampire issue this June, and they want to feature SUNSHINE. Stay tuned.

Wonderful! More power to their elbow, er...website! Smile

Perhaps one of these days the UK publishers will stop navel-gazing and realise what they (and so, we) are missing out on.

Quote:

Who would do this to me? Who is it who has discovered this fiendish new way to drive me mad? Who . . . um. I suppose it’s possible I may have ordered all of them.

I think you may have done this to yourself...possibly in an extended series of absent-minded moments? Any you can't find room for, just let me know and I'll come over. Very Happy

Quote:

Nice lady = likes my work.

Wow! Does this mean that all those here (the female ones, that is) are nice ladies too? Smile

_{"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14677 is a reply to message #14671 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 17:36

Susan from Athens
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jmeadows wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 19:48

Black Bear wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 10:18

Oh thank commas. I saw nemesis first, too.

I didn't want to be the only one.

Me three. Nemesis for your plant number hubris?

But Black Bear I didn't know anyone sweated to god? Is this a new version?

_{“I have always imagined heaven to be a kind of library.” –Jorge Luis Borges}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14679 is a reply to message #14677 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 17:45

Black Bear
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I've no idea what you're talking about, Susan. Very Happy

_{"The time is always right to do what's right."--MLK Jr.}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14685 is a reply to message #14661 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:10

Robin
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[Hellgoddess]

How is Teddy?

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14686 is a reply to message #14663 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:13

Robin
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I will go insinuatingly ASK about lighting fixtures next week. :)

I have to keep reminding myself that bullies *are* terriers. I mean, I know they are, but when I think ARRRRRGH! TERRIERS! I think of those little savage things like Jack Russells and Borders and Norfolks. The perpetual-motion ones that bark/bite first and ask questions later. No, they don't ask questions at all.

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14687 is a reply to message #14664 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:14

Robin
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You guys are all SCARING me you know. . . .

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14688 is a reply to message #14671 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:16

Robin
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Snork. A very easy mistake to make. Especially when I'm being driven mad by them, whatever they are. :)

Actually, they're very cute now they're all potted up. I was going to do Garden Tour Photos this evening and then the hellhounds needed praising instead. Maybe tomorrow.

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14690 is a reply to message #14672 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:22

Robin
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AJLR wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 13:44

Quote:

This interview appears to have produced no bruises. SFX is, she tells me, publishing a special vampire issue this June, and they want to feature SUNSHINE. Stay tuned.

Wonderful! More power to their elbow, er...website! :) Perhaps one of these days the UK publishers will stop navel-gazing and realise what they (and so, we) are missing out on.

Quote:

Who would do this to me? Who is it who has discovered this fiendish new way to drive me mad? Who . . . um. I suppose it’s possible I may have ordered all of them.

I think you may have done this to yourself...possibly in an extended series of absent-minded moments? Any you can't find room for, just let me know and I'll come over. :d

Quote:

Nice lady = likes my work.

Wow! Does this mean that all those here (the female ones, that is) are nice ladies too? :)

I've had a couple of further exchanges with the Nice Journalist Lady and I've decided She's Too Good to Be True. But please continue to stay tuned. :)

Do you get the Gardening Direct catalogues? Where they offer you great deals on things like 1,014 pansies? I love pansies. I can't cope with 1,014. Even of pansies. (We could have a Great Plant Exchange . . . one of these years I have to go investigate the WI weekly plant sales. I'd be glad to pot up and GIVE some of this stuff away, or some of what proliferates out of control in my garden, like some of my excellent day lilies. I hate WASTING them.)

Yes, I've been nervously contemplating that obvious extension of the Nice Lady label . . . :)

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14691 is a reply to message #14686 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:25

southdowner
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Robin wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:13

I have to keep reminding myself that bullies *are* terriers. I mean, I know they are, but when I think ARRRRRGH! TERRIERS! I think of those little savage things like Jack Russells and Borders and Norfolks. The perpetual-motion ones that bark/bite first and ask questions later. No, they don't ask questions at all.

I have a small trimmed breed of terrier in line for adoption (yes, by me - sigh) and he is pure terrier... the bullies are a totally different bowl of fruit, less of a bantamweight fighter and more Buster Keaton meets Blackadder Smile

Someone says "pie" and we all go on alert, like meercats. "Pie? Where?" - Blackbear

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14693 is a reply to message #14691 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:28

Robin
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Buster Keaton meets Blackadder! Snoooooork! I'm so glad you're on this forum!!! (And yes, this is EXACTLY why bullies appeal to me, and Jack Russells . . . don't!)

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14694 is a reply to message #14691 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:28

b_twin_1
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southdowner wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 19:25

Robin wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:13

Is it just the light or is there SUCKER written on your forehead? Razz

Poor southdowner!!
Our mini-foxy (I think they get called Rat Terriers?) is certainly very terrier-like. Neutral

But he has calmed down a lot over the last 2 years of being on the farm and being able to chase mice/rats/rabbits whenever he wants. He has mellowed and actually comes when called. o.o

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14695 is a reply to message #14694 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:32

Robin
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I have wondered how often the sheer mania of terriers is caused by the fact that they aren't given enough to DO. Two hours of walking a day means my hellhounds are crashed out most of the other twenty two, but they're (a) sprinters and (b) not naturally 'busy' dogs. How many of those manic terriers get two genuine hours of INPUT from their humans, you know? --I should think that having a farm to terrorise is EXACTLY the sort of thing a terrier WANTS. :) But most dogs are stuck in houses in towns.

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14696 is a reply to message #14695 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:35

b_twin_1
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Robin wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 19:32

But most dogs are stuck in houses in towns.

*nods*
Our little guy is very active (and then has 'down time' inside). When Belle was in season he raced around the place after her and really wasn't all that exhausted. He's a fit little chap now. Smile

But I realised recently that even when hunting he now appears immediately when dinner is served. It used to be that you couldn't get him back at all if he was after a rabbit/fox/wallaby. Older and wiser?? Wink

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14698 is a reply to message #14696 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:55

southdowner
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b_twin_1 wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:35

Robin wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 19:32

But most dogs are stuck in houses in towns.

*nods*
Our little guy is very active (and then has 'down time' inside).

I saw a terrier recently and the upshot was we got him rehomed as a working terrier - family got a totally different type of dog, everyone happy. Some breeds are still working dogs and pet life (2 pavement walks, then being left to their own devices) is just wrong for them IMO - collies, springers, many terriers ...ect ect

[Updated on: Sun, 12 April 2009 03:45]

Someone says "pie" and we all go on alert, like meercats. "Pie? Where?" - Blackbear

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14699 is a reply to message #14694 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 19:58

southdowner
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b_twin_1 wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:28

Is it just the light or is there SUCKER written on your forehead? Razz

Poor southdowner!!

This is the character who busted out of a crate on my rear seat and proceeded to do a wall of death, interrupted by assaults on the windscreen wipers, on a very rainy M25 - Eeeep!!

Someone says "pie" and we all go on alert, like meercats. "Pie? Where?" - Blackbear

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14700 is a reply to message #14699 ]

Sat, 11 April 2009 20:21

b_twin_1
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southdowner wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 19:58

b_twin_1 wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:28

Is it just the light or is there SUCKER written on your forehead? Razz

Poor southdowner!!

This is the character who busted out of a crate on my rear seat and proceeded to do a wall of death, interrupted by assaults on the windscreen wipers, on a very rainy M25 - Eeeep!!

O.O Eeek!
I'm sure Belle would do this too except I trained her *very early* to sit quietly in the footwell on the passenger side. (As a young pup she tried to climb over the dash to go around the sheep..... I REALLY don't want that.)

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14710 is a reply to message #14690 ]

Sun, 12 April 2009 10:24

AJLR
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Robin wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:22

Do you get the Gardening Direct catalogues? Where they offer you great deals on things like 1,014 pansies? I love pansies. I can't cope with 1,014. Even of pansies. (We could have a Great Plant Exchange . . . one of these years I have to go investigate the WI weekly plant sales. I'd be glad to pot up and GIVE some of this stuff away, or some of what proliferates out of control in my garden, like some of my excellent day lilies. I hate WASTING them.

Yes - and I know what you mean about the numbers. One gets a far better deal with the bigger packs, but...! In the main I prefer to grow from seed, partly because I like doing it, partly because I'm mean and it's cheaper that way. However, I'm eagerly awaiting my pack of five Cosmos Atrosanguinea at the moment. Smile

I like the idea of the Grand Plant Swap. Smile

_{"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14711 is a reply to message #14699 ]

Sun, 12 April 2009 10:26

AJLR
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southdowner wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 00:58

This is the character who busted out of a crate on my rear seat and proceeded to do a wall of death, interrupted by assaults on the windscreen wipers, on a very rainy M25 - Eeeep!!

This sounds like an element from a Wallis and Gromit film! Smile

I'm glad that you and all the inhabitants of the car survived the experience.

_{"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14717 is a reply to message #14698 ]

Sun, 12 April 2009 18:23

Robin
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[Hellgoddess]

Border collies CERTAINLY need something to do with themselves--it's one of the reasons I DON'T have one. They need a CAREER. And I haven't known nearly enough of most breeds to make generalisations but I have known several spaniels (cockers and springers) who were perfectly content as pets because they were *with their people* all the time. It's the two walks a day and LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES that causes the problem in a lot of cases. If they can follow you around and make suggestions and get in your way they may be fine. 'Companion' is a genuine career for SOME dogs. Works for hellhounds. :)

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14719 is a reply to message #14700 ]

Sun, 12 April 2009 18:27

Robin
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[Hellgoddess]

Possibly my greatest single piece of unearned luck with the hellhounds is when I *had* to take them out of their travelling puppy crate because they wouldn't FIT any more, and put them in the old dog box that wedges in behind the driver's seat. And said LIE DOWN. And they lay down. And they've lain down ever since. They do have to be TOLD--Chaos in particular (it's always Chaos)--but they lie down. And they stay lying down.

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14720 is a reply to message #14710 ]

Sun, 12 April 2009 18:30

Robin
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Well, YOU have a greenhouse. :)

And if I ever get back into the DASTARDLY FIDDLINESS of growing things from seed . . . I'm going to go back to breeding roses. (More plans for Third House.) Which means I'll still be ordering everything else from plant catalogues. . . .

Besides, I love PRESENTS in the post. Even if you bought them yourself, and now you have TO POT THE SUCKERS UP.

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14742 is a reply to message #14720 ]

Mon, 13 April 2009 05:02

AJLR
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Robin wrote on Sun, 12 April 2009 23:30

Well, YOU have a greenhouse. Smile

I meant to ask - any sign of a greenhouse robin yet, this year?

_{"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."}

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14751 is a reply to message #14671 ]

Mon, 13 April 2009 14:11

Fake Frenchie
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Location: France

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jmeadows wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 18:48

Black Bear wrote on Sat, 11 April 2009 10:18

Oh thank commas. I saw nemesis first, too.

I didn't want to be the only one.

Me four. I'm thinking like Black Bear and Jodie and Susan. How frightening! [Less the third than the first two! Wink

] LOL

[Updated on: Mon, 13 April 2009 14:18]

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14758 is a reply to message #14638 ]

Mon, 13 April 2009 17:54

holmes44
Messages: 706
Registered: October 2008
Location: Sutton,Quebec

Senior Member

i have to agree with susan,black bear on the sweated to god thing.lol

Bonnie Holmes the faster ahead I go, the more behind I get

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14765 is a reply to message #14742 ]

Mon, 13 April 2009 19:05

Robin
Messages: 6024
Registered: September 2008
Location: England

Senior Member
[Hellgoddess]

No, but I have a BLACKBIRD. Which I'm planning on blogging about some day soon. . . .

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Re: Lawnmowers, vampires and bathroom tiles [message #14784 is a reply to message #14765 ]

Tue, 14 April 2009 02:45

b_twin_1
Messages: 2620
Registered: September 2008
Location: Victoria, Australia

Senior Member
[Moderator]

Robin wrote on Mon, 13 April 2009 19:05

No, but I have a BLACKBIRD. Which I'm planning on blogging about some day soon. . . .

Oh oh.... I suspect that will be a HORROR STORY then if your experience lines up with mine when it comes to blackbirds and their "rampage and pillage" tendencies.

I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel ~ Blackadder

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