Home » Discussion Forums » Blog Post Discussion » Another Day After
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47771 is a reply to message #47764 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 00:31   |
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 Diane in MN
Messages: 2756
Registered: October 2008
Location: Twin Cities, MN, USA |
Senior Member |
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But I think it’s possible that my desire to have the work I’ve done both recognized and accepted is being translated as the insane vanity of an author, and they all know what authors are like.
Well, anything is possible, but I think you're being more than charitable here. Anyone who offers to make a major donation--any donation, really--to an organization or a cause wants to have it recognized and accepted, even if they'd want to appear as "Anonymous" on the donor list. That's not vanity*, it's an expectation of good manners. I wouldn't be surprised if your singeing letter-writer was so defensive because he or she knew that you had been treated rudely.
* Wanting a prominently-displayed big brass plate with your name on it in six-inch letters is vanity. Wanting someone to say "Thank you, that will help a lot" isn't.
"The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough . . . " Louise Erdrich
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47773 is a reply to message #47764 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 02:21 |
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danceswithpahis
Messages: 382
Registered: October 2008 |
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But as soon as you do manifest change, any and/or everyone around you who is invested in the status quo is going to start giving you change back! messages. People who care about you will go with what you need to do. People who prefer you crippled, subservient, non-stroppy, silent, whatever makes their lives easier, will not like it at all, and will let you know they don’t like it at all.
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Such a good way of putting it. People get into relationships with us for all sorts of reasons, and some of them are not healthy ones. If the thing they wanted from you was the unhealthy behavior, this will be threatening. I'm glad you can take it for what it really is, and I hope there will be some of the others in the group that are able to support your decision. Good luck and may you have good progress with Shadows, much chocolate, healthy hellhounds with good appetites, and other good community in your physical "real life" world (not just us) who can surround you right now.
"Oh good! My dog found the chainsaw!"
-- Lilo ("Lilo and Stitch")
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47774 is a reply to message #47764 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 03:17 |
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Stardancer
Messages: 186
Registered: April 2011
Location: Florida, USA |
Senior Member |
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Sigh. Unfortunately this may be part of it. There’s a contingent of the population—and I met it in America too, it’s not a British peculiarity—who believes that all authors are either egomaniacs, nuts, or both^, and behave accordingly.
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I actually had a college class (for my Creative Writing minor) called "Mad, Bad, and Dangerous: Images and Roles of Writers in Society." It was an experimental class taught by a lady who was trying to convince us that, as aspiring authors, we DIDN'T have be the popular perception of Le Artist--which we defined, more or less, as ranging from "oddball" to "someone who lives in deep and constant emotional pain in order to produce Le Art." Unfortunately, she went about it rather the wrong way. We studied the lives of a number of famously strange authors and watched movies about artists so we could analyze how they were perceived. I still believe you don't have to be off your rocker to produce quality work, but the class itself was terribly unconvincing (Byron, Hemingway, Gertrude Stein...all pretty much as weird as they're made out to be).
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47775 is a reply to message #47771 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 03:47 |
CathyR
Messages: 577
Registered: July 2009
Location: NW England |
Senior Member |
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| Diane in MN wrote on Sat, 21 January 2012 05:31 |
But I think it’s possible that my desire to have the work I’ve done both recognized and accepted is being translated as the insane vanity of an author, and they all know what authors are like.
Well, anything is possible, but I think you're being more than charitable here. Anyone who offers to make a major donation--any donation, really--to an organization or a cause wants to have it recognized and accepted, even if they'd want to appear as "Anonymous" on the donor list. That's not vanity*, it's an expectation of good manners. I wouldn't be surprised if your singeing letter-writer was so defensive because he or she knew that you had been treated rudely.
* Wanting a prominently-displayed big brass plate with your name on it in six-inch letters is vanity. Wanting someone to say "Thank you, that will help a lot" isn't.
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Yes!!
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47778 is a reply to message #47764 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 10:13 |
EMoon
Messages: 669
Registered: March 2009 |
Senior Member |
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Yes, the "change BACK" message comes from those who want the victim back on the rack so they can continue to elicit moans as they play around reshaping the anatomy.
I second Diane's comment, esp, "Wanting a prominently-displayed big brass plate with your name on it in six-inch letters is vanity. Wanting someone to say "Thank you, that will help a lot" isn't."
Moreover--in insulting you by refusing the donation, they have also insulted every one of your online friends who learned through you to care about ringing, about bells, about your home tower. They didn't just smack you in the face: they smacked the rest of us. Doesn't hurt any of us the way it hurts you--we're upset with them on your behalf, not our own--but I'm sure it's been in the back (or front) of your mind. (So don't worry about us: take care of yourself.)
If you will supply the exact coordinates, I will deliver the rocket-propelled GRUMP. I would gladly deliver it in person, toe-to-toe with the rude ungrateful bovine-of-no-breeding in terms even a bovine-of-no-breeding would understand. (Bovines of good breeding know when to ignore the departure of the stunningly gorgeous horse from their herd. They're still bovines, but they're outwardly mannerly bovines and go back to chewing their cuds with self-righteous smugness. It's only bovines-of-no-breeding that moo wildly, chase after, and stick their crooked horns into the departed.) YOU have behaved well. THEY have behaved with incredible rudeness, cruelty, and stupidity.
For your sake, because you love those bells, I have to hope that their bake sales raise enough to do the necessary repairs...though what the bovine herd deserves is to find themselves, two years hence, with no bells at all because they never could raise the money.
Meanwhile: take care of yourself, and remember, in the darkest hours, that you have friends ready to do battle for you.
E
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47780 is a reply to message #47764 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 12:16 |
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HorsehairBraider
Messages: 161
Registered: August 2009
Location: New Mexico |
Senior Member |
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This whole thing reminds me of these crabs that live on the West coast of Africa. The people there go out and collect these crabs for food, and to collect them, they just throw them in an open basket - no lid or anything. "Aha!" you might say. "Why don't the crabs just crawl back out and escape?" Well, all you need are two or three crabs in there, and you are never going to lose one. The very second a crab tries to get out of the basket, all the other crabs in the basket grab the one trying to crawl out, and pull it back in. The people who live there think that these crabs are the stupidest creature on Earth. But I can think of at least one that has the potential to be even stupider... 
I think it's pretty rotten that in addition to treating you shabbily, they then wrote you a nasty-gram when you *dared* to not take their shabby treatment. And I agree, Diane in MN nailed it. They KNOW they did the wrong thing, and now must try and justify it to themselves.
Sad, really.
They say princes learn no art truly, save that of horsemanship. The reason is, the brave beast is no flatterer. He will throw a prince as soon as his groom. Ben Jonson
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47788 is a reply to message #47771 ] |
Sat, 21 January 2012 20:42 |
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anne_d
Messages: 217
Registered: October 2008
Location: Orange County, California |
Senior Member |
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| Diane in MN wrote on Fri, 20 January 2012 21:31 |
But I think it’s possible that my desire to have the work I’ve done both recognized and accepted is being translated as the insane vanity of an author, and they all know what authors are like.
Well, anything is possible, but I think you're being more than charitable here. Anyone who offers to make a major donation--any donation, really--to an organization or a cause wants to have it recognized and accepted, even if they'd want to appear as "Anonymous" on the donor list. That's not vanity*, it's an expectation of good manners. I wouldn't be surprised if your singeing letter-writer was so defensive because he or she knew that you had been treated rudely.
* Wanting a prominently-displayed big brass plate with your name on it in six-inch letters is vanity. Wanting someone to say "Thank you, that will help a lot" isn't.
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This. All of this. Squared.
"The creative urge can come out in any form: in embroidery, in... cooking, in painting, drawing and sculpture, in composing music, as well as in writing books and stories... the artist's inner satisfaction was probably much the same." ~ Agatha Christie
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47808 is a reply to message #47794 ] |
Sun, 22 January 2012 17:09 |
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Robin
Messages: 6025
Registered: September 2008
Location: England |
Senior Member
[Hellgoddess] |
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If they'd turned me down for gambling, they would have told me so with great glee, because it would give them a citable REASON, however ridiculous.
If there's one thing that boils my blood good and proper, it's so-called Christians who are more concerned with doing things right than with loving their neighbour....
Yeah. I'm afraid this bites me big time too. In America I don't think I had any close friends who were committed churchgoers; over here, for some reason, I have several, including one involved with this mess, although not as a bell ringer, and who has been a GREAT source of sense and sympathy. But ALL the admin who are involved in doing me down . . . are hand-on-heart, holier-than-thou dedicated Christians. Grrrrrrrr.
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| Re: Another Day After [message #47905 is a reply to message #47885 ] |
Thu, 26 January 2012 14:36 |
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Mrs Redboots
Messages: 949
Registered: October 2008
Location: London, UK |
Senior Member |
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| b_twin_1 wrote on Thu, 26 January 2012 02:02 |
| Mrs Redboots wrote on Wed, 25 January 2012 15:02 |
| Corellia wrote on Mon, 23 January 2012 23:48 |
Nothing ruins a group faster than power hungry people 
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Tell. Me. About. It. I've recently been invited to take a couple of services at a church a little distance away. Said church is dying on its feet - largely, I suspect, because one man "does it all" and nobody else gets a chance to look in or exercise their gifts.
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Sometimes this situation arises too because the other 99% are too lazy to get up and pitch in themselves.
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Not so much lazy, as not quite liking to put themselves forward. But if you go up to them and say, "Will you bring rice and peas to the church lunch?" or whatever, they are more than happy to.... they just needed to be asked.
Mrs Redboots
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
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