Home » Discussion Forums » Blog Post Discussion » Peter's Ferret Story
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #8970 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sat, 27 December 2008 20:20   |
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so he stuffed it into his tail pocket and took it into chapel.
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As I read this, even as I quoted this part to comment, I got up to make sure my own ferrets weren't doing anything mischievous. They were, of course. And I had this horrible dread for what the ferret in your story was about to do...in church. *grin*
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The ferret, exhausted by the frenzy of rabbiting, slumbered through prayer after prayer, several hymns bellowed by six hundred young male voices, two readings from the Bible, a psalm, and a choir giving its all to a Magnificat and Nunc Dimittis,
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Gosh, that sounds just like a ferret. Obviously mine aren't working ferrets and will never know the exhaustion after a hard day's work, but they'd still sleep through a tornado after a good long playtime. (In fact, they have.)
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It is said to have bitten every one of the boys who handled it on its way back to its owner.
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*snort!* And they still kept quiet. What loyal friends.
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*** I mention ferrets quite a lot because there’s this ferret on the forum that keeps insisting he can kill me with his brain. This has marked me you know.
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I don't know who you're talking about. Obviously not me! I'm a girl, as was Leanne in the photo. (Obviously the bug has fried your brain!) But if it will make you feel better, I'll change the avatar to a boy so you can be correct today. Though the boys are more likely to ask for tummy rubs than threaten you! 
Thank you for the story, Peter. I *always* appreciate a good ferret story. Robin, I hope you feel better! *sends tea*
And speaking of ferrets, and since Southdowner is back, I need to tell you what I noticed at the petstore today. A $*%($@$ dog toy shaped like a ferret. And it wasn't even maybe a ferret, maybe some dull looking creature out of someone's dull dream. It was definitely a ferret, which you were supposed to stick your hand inside its stomach (!!!) and wiggle its head around for your dog to chew on. It was appalling. They also had skunks and bunnies.
I huffed by the display and ranted about it for five aisles.
Smooshes!
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #8972 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sat, 27 December 2008 20:41 |
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I hope you feel better soon, Robin. I'd send you something (like Jodi with her tea) but you know what's best for you. Or wait, how about some fudge? A little chocolate goes a long ways...
Wonderful story about the ferret, Peter! To me, ferrets are like ducks. They are instantly funny. Can't watch them without laughing--then again, I've never been bit.
Wish I could have heard the rest of that sermon. That's up there with "Sex raises its ugly head."
"And by the way you look fantastic in your boots of Chinese plastic."
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #8988 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sat, 27 December 2008 22:44 |
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i fourth or fifth that robin, get better soon and enjoy the hellhounds company.that was a delightful story peter,thank you for filling in for robin.i agree with susan jodi.you lead us into temptation not the ferrets.hehe.
Bonnie Holmes the faster ahead I go, the more behind I get
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #8993 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sat, 27 December 2008 23:14 |
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 Black Bear
Messages: 3239
Registered: September 2008
Location: Indianapolis, IN USA |
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That was WONDERFUL. I have myself been bitten by both a ferret AND a hedgehog, and the hedgehog hurt far worse. (Sorry, hedgehog.)
This put me in mind of a story of my own which I post here for your sickbed amusement, Robin...
When I was in college, back in the Land Before Time, I decided that I needed an iguana. I've always liked reptiles, and as iguanas are one of the few lizards that are more or less completely vegetarian, they're a practical choice for a dorm room than something that eats live food. (Never mind, of course, that they grow to be 5 feet long and stronger than Hades, and that they don't always have the best temperament. This was not one of my finer moments in the planning-ahead department.) I acquired a baby iguana, built him a cage, and took him off to college with me in my junior year. I fed him stuff I'd stolen from the salad bar in the dining hall, and he responded by trying to bite me every time I put my hand in the cage.
Now, as I lived in Indiana, but went to school in New York, there were issues of practicality when school vacation rolled around. I couldn't leave him in the dorm, I didn't have anyone sticking around who could take care of him. But you can't take an iguana on an airplane--even before 9-11, which now restricts your carry-on reptiles to 3.5 oz--and I couldn't see putting him in the check-through, as the baggage area on a plane isn't kept heated. But I am nothing if not resourceful. I got some muslin from the costume shop where I worked, and sewed myself a little drawstring bag which was large enough to put my iguana in, if I folded him a bit (he was about 15" long at the time, and half that was tail.) I got a cardboard box as well; the plan was for him to travel in the box for most of the trip, but to go in the drawstring bag, around my neck and under my sweater, when I had to go through the x-ray checkpoint. Wouldn't want the security staff looking at their little monitor and seeing a lizard skeleton illuminated inside the box, after all! So there I had it, a foolproof plan.
Yes, well, you see the problem with the word "fool proof." Things were fine on the bus from Poughkeepsie to LaGuardia, he was quiet in the box, which I'd rubber-banded shut. In the bathroom at LaGuardia, I managed to get him out of the box and into the bag without too much trouble, because it was December and he was cold from the bus ride. Put the bag around my neck, put my sweater back on, and strode confidently to the security checkpoint. No problem. Except, due to my usual tendency to cut things a bit close, it was already time for boarding the plane and I didn't have time to return him to the box before I had to get to my gate. Still, he was behaving himself, and I figured why mess with success? I boarded, got seated next to a gentleman in business attire, we took off, and all was well.... until the iguana warmed up.
At first I just felt him kind of moving around under my sweater, and I tried to ignore it. Then a particularly energetic sort of thrashing started, and my sweater began heaving outward like that poor dude in Alien. I clapped a hand to my chest, shot a nervous sort of smile at the guy sitting next to me, and as soon as he looked away, I pulled out the neck of my sweater and looked down to discover that the little wretch had worked his head and one arm out of the bag and was flailing madly around to try to get the rest of himself free to wreak havok at 10,000 feet. So I kept my hand firmly planted on my chest like Fred Sanford having a heart attack ("I'm comin', Elizabeth! It's the big one!") til I could unbuckle my seat belt and rush for the bathroom with the box in my other hand. By the time I got there he'd managed to squirm another arm and most of his body out of the bag; I whipped the bag off my neck, crammed it into the box, snapped the rubber bands on, and proceeded to almost have a real heart attack right there in the lavatory. When I finally made it back to my seat, the dude next to me was fairly convinced I was crazy, or smuggling drugs, or both. The lizard and I both made it home alive; but it sure wasn't fun for either of us...
"The time is always right to do what's right."--MLK Jr.
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #8999 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 00:00 |
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L.R.K.
Messages: 1090
Registered: October 2008
Location: Sweden |
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Robin’s laid low by some inconsiderate bug* and I don’t want her sitting up till 2.48 a.m.** keeping the world cheerful with bell-gossip, or whatever, so the world’s going to have to put up with a stop-gap.
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Thank you, Mr Dickinson, that was a lovely "stop-gap"! You are very good at "keeping the world" cheerful, too - we are very lucky. 
And Robin, please take care of yourself - rest as much as you have to and don't over-exert yourself. Be well soon!
Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean, like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9002 is a reply to message #8970 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 01:20 |
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Diane in MN
Messages: 2756
Registered: October 2008
Location: Twin Cities, MN, USA |
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| jmeadows wrote on Sat, 27 December 2008 19:20 |
And speaking of ferrets, and since Southdowner is back, I need to tell you what I noticed at the petstore today. A $*%($@$ dog toy shaped like a ferret. And it wasn't even maybe a ferret, maybe some dull looking creature out of someone's dull dream. It was definitely a ferret, which you were supposed to stick your hand inside its stomach (!!!) and wiggle its head around for your dog to chew on. It was appalling. They also had skunks and bunnies.
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A few years ago they were selling a battery-operated toy that had a ferret, or some other weaselish-looking creature, rolling around with a tennis ball. If this object drove a dog berserk, as it was probably meant to do, you'd have to worry about the dog eating the batteries, but leaving that aside, I don't like dog toys that encourage the dog to attack something that looks like another animal. I might feel differently if I owned a four-pound dog, but you don't want your Great Dane thinking that all small fuzzy moving objects are chew toys. You were right to rant!
"The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough . . . " Louise Erdrich
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9004 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 02:43 |
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Diane in MN
Messages: 2756
Registered: October 2008
Location: Twin Cities, MN, USA |
Senior Member |
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Thank you, Peter, for the ferret story and the sermon story.
Robin, I hope your visiting bug is very transient and does not have you feeling too low even to read. You're right, dogs on the bed is a terrible precedent, but a guilty pleasure too, so you might as well enjoy it.
Here is the Alpha Bitch, deigning to participate in a Christmas photo shoot:
"The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough . . . " Louise Erdrich
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9009 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 06:05 |
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Commiserations from a fellow lurgy sufferer, I had to cut my Xmas day celebrations short due to unwellness, that has continued, with no hope I will be well enough to partake in New Years Eve festivities.
So I will have to save that bottle of bubbles for another time
Peter thankyou for a delightful ferret story (tho I was most amused by the tidbit about what you can store in your coat tails) I always remember a BBC tv clip with some famous host (was it Parkinson - I forget) who interviewed a ferret owner back 30 or so years ago, and while handling it (on live tv? - if not they showed it anyway) sunk its teeth into his thumb and wouldnt let go.
Even to myself as a young child, I remember the amusement of what was clearly a horribly painful experience, and the presenter was doing his 'best' BBC stiff upper lip and trying to pretend it was no bother at all, while the horrified owner tried to prise the ferret off its prize.
Possibly the reason I have cats and not ferrets (although they are illegal in NZ I think these days)
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9010 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 06:54 |
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Lucy Coats
Messages: 223
Registered: October 2008
Location: Northamptonshire, UK |
Senior Member |
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Peter, that was magnificent, and it rang a lot of bells in my head as well as cheering me up and making me laugh a lot. I very much fear it was one of my uncles who was the ferret-keeper culprit. My father was the youngest brother of 6, so was there a few years later, about 1927. But he too kept ferrets at Eton which he told me were an inheritance from Uncle Jack (whose trousers were easily capacious enough for several ferrets in later life), and I have a distinct memory of that story being told to me. Dad had the bad habit of going over to the Slough sewage farm to shoot snipe--and then plucking them into the trunks of boys he didn't like. I don't know what he did with the rabbit skins from his ferreting forays. Robin--I sympathise massively on the Christmas lurgy front. I've had it too. Am finding that Chai with honey (local) is helping, if that's any use. Be well, and may the hellhounds thrive on bad habits!
Lucy xx
"'Thou shalt not' might reach the head, but it takes 'Once upon a time' to reach the heart."
http://www.scribblecitycentral.blogspot.com
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9012 is a reply to message #9002 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 09:22 |
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| Diane in MN wrote on Sun, 28 December 2008 01:20 |
A few years ago they were selling a battery-operated toy that had a ferret, or some other weaselish-looking creature, rolling around with a tennis ball.
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I remember seeing something like that a long time ago, but it was in a toy store. I wonder if we're thinking of the same thing...with multiple purposes.
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If this object drove a dog berserk, as it was probably meant to do, you'd have to worry about the dog eating the batteries, but leaving that aside, I don't like dog toys that encourage the dog to attack something that looks like another animal. I might feel differently if I owned a four-pound dog, but you don't want your Great Dane thinking that all small fuzzy moving objects are chew toys. You were right to rant!
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Yes! No kidding. The rabbit one at least sort of makes sense (poor bunnies - this does not mean I approve) because rabbits are prey. Skunks and ferrets...I don't know about skunks, except at one point they were in the same family as ferrets (now they have their own), but ferrets are hunting animals! I wouldn't want to encourage a dog to go after either. One, he's going to get sprayed. The other doesn't exist in the wild, except for the black-footed ferret, which is *just* off the endangered species list. So people probably shouldn't want their dogs to go after them, either.
Smooshes!
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9035 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 14:24 |
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Mrs Redboots
Messages: 949
Registered: October 2008
Location: London, UK |
Senior Member |
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Thank you, Peter!
It is all very well getting the giggles in Church or Chapel when you are just a bum-on-seat - what doesn't work quite so well is when you are the preacher! Been there, done that.....
So to take our minds off such unfortunatenesses, here is a ferret I photographed in 2003:
And Robin - please get well soon! This is a Very Nasty Bug, and will almost definitely trigger your ME, so be careful of yourself!
Attachment: Ferret01.jpg
(Size: 50.62KB, Downloaded 260 time(s))
Mrs Redboots
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9047 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 17:29 |
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AJLR
Messages: 2582
Registered: September 2008
Location: England, UK |
Senior Member
[Moderator] |
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The ferret bit him. It is said to have bitten every one of the boys who handled it on its way back to its owner.
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Presumably it was just tasting them, to make sure it got back to the right person?
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This is one of those, and the British ran an empire? stories
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LOL! I see nothing contradictory in that? How could an empire be run without maintaining standards...
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Next day the headmaster thrashed twenty boys, chosen at random as far as anyone could make out.
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Decimation eh? Very classical, just what one would expect.
I hope you feel a lot better, soon, Robin. And thanks, Peter, very much.
"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9049 is a reply to message #8975 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 19:17 |
Susan in Melbourne
Messages: 184
Registered: October 2008
Location: Melbourne |
Senior Member |
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| hedgehog wrote on Sun, 28 December 2008 12:53 |
Thank you for a WONDERFUL blog entry ...
I am only an 'edgehog, and I don't know from ferrets, only wot I read on the Internet.
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Thank you for the ferret story and preacher footnote, Peter. Hard to decide which made me laugh more.
Hedgehog, you have access to some wonderful sources on the net. I had to circulate your screwdriver extract to the males in my life (they know why...), and I can see 'Ferret Legging' doing the rounds, too.
Well, I'm off today, to spend the week up in the high country with a group of friends - bushwalking, eating, reading, Scrabble tournament, chilling out, bit more eating, etc., etc. Looking forward to it so much.
So, have a happy new year, everyone, and Robin, good luck with shaking off the lurgy. Everything's going to be much better in 2009!
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| Re: Peter's Ferret Story [message #9056 is a reply to message #8969 ] |
Sun, 28 December 2008 20:22 |
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I loved your iguana story, Black Bear! A pick me up for a bit of a hard day.
"And by the way you look fantastic in your boots of Chinese plastic."
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The AKC licenses a whole line of very realistic-looking wildlife toys. Doesn't look like they make a ferret, so that's probably not the brand you saw, but 
