September 25, 2014

Shadows is here!

An attic full of books

THERE’S TOO MUCH GOING ON* including various bits of news** both good and bad that I haven’t entirely got my head around yet*** although when I do some of them will make it onto the blog.

Meanwhile I thought I might at least post some photos of an attic full of book boxes as requested by some strange person on the forum.

AAAAAAUGH

AAAAAAUGH

This is what greets you at the top of the stairs.   That’s the corner of my old double bed from Maine on the left, hard up against the end wall, pretending to be a Guest Room.  When I get it made up again it will be a very good place for Lying with the Hellmob.  The hellhounds and I had begun to explore this interesting possibility back when Third House was still Third House.  And a double bed is enough bigger than a sofa I may be able to trap the hellterror in place more effectively.

But this is what I mean about lack of impressiveness–although you may be dazzled by my colour sense–you’re looking at nineteen or twenty boxes wedged into that corner, but since you can only see the outside rows it’s a big meh.

YEEEEEEEEP

YEEEEEEEEP

You’re now standing with the bed behind you and the yellow filing cabinet to your left, looking down the length of the attic.  This is the long kitchen table, worth £1.79, built out of bits Peter had found in rubbish tips, that when we moved out of the old house I REFUSED TO GIVE UP.  And I was right.  It is perfect as a long skinny attic table.  That’s the notorious dormer window that has produced those interesting ceiling angles, some of which you can see.  And those are avocadoes on the window sill, in case you’re wondering, ripening in the sunlight that blasts in during the day.  If you peer into the murk to the far end of the attic you may just about be able to make out EMPTY SHELVES.  Yes.  I keep putting stuff on them and then taking it off again because how am I supposed to choose?  Although Peter’s 1,000,000,000 bound annuals of PUNCH take up a good deal of the space you can’t see, and my encyclopaedia will go on those shelves too when I find the rest of it.

And that architectural feature in the upper right-hand corner is the boxed-in, so to speak, chimney.  Why it has a sort of hoop skirt built out from it halfway down (or up) I have no idea, but all shelves to pile books and book boxes on are good shelves.

UUUUUNNNNNNNGH

UUUUUNNNNNNNGH

This is the left-hand far corner, so what is beyond the table on the same side of the attic.  And again . . . not so impressive.  But you’re looking at nearly thirty boxes you just can’t see most of them.  What you are seeing at the bottom of the picture in the open box is the limited edition illustrated ROSE DAUGHTER.

BLAAAAAAAAAARGGGGH

BLAAAAAAAAAARGGGGH

 

This is now behind the chimney.  Peter’s gazillion PUNCHES are immediately to your left;  the corner with the unimpressive thirty boxes is now behind you . . . more or less.  You’re a bit crowded back here.

I am particularly pleased with the table.  It’s one of the few pieces of furniture that came over with me from Maine, with the bed and the blue velvet sofa, and it was for the chop this move;  there was nowhere to put it.  I’m a little nostalgic about the stuff I brought over with me because barring the 1,000,000,000 books there isn’t a lot of it–and I did have to get rid of my baby grand piano.   This table has been sitting at the mews waiting for the axe to fall since like the kitchen table it isn’t worth anything BUT IT’S A PERFECTLY GOOD TABLE.  And then I thought, wait a minute, I can use it a Mediating Structure to make the wrangling of book boxes marginally less appalling.  So it’s shoved up against the back of the chimney and there are and/or will be stacks of two boxes below it and stacks of two boxes on top of it . . . instead of stacks of four boxes of books.  Hurrah.  Yessssss.

MOOOOOOOAAAAAAN

MOOOOOOOAAAAAAN

The view from above.  Just by the way, don’t get too excited by any labels you may see.  Most of them are wrong.  Well, most of the ones on Peter’s backlist are wrong.  My backlist, on the other hand, is 99% gorgeously and specifically accurate because I have a secret weapon named Fiona.

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

And, when appropriate, I get books out of their boxes and pile them interestingly in available gaps, available being another of those mutable concepts.  I’ve got a lot of Peter’s piled up on the chimney shelf just out of frame in the long shot of the ex-kitchen table.  And just by another way, I have no idea where SHADOWS is.  I haven’t seen it at all.  I hope it’s hiding somewhere at the cottage.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

And because I am hopelessly neurotic, I’ve saved a few empty boxes . . . just in case I need them later.  Yes, that’s a sink on your right.  I have them piled in the loo because there isn’t anywhere else.

* * *

* Well how unusual

** No, no, not the kind you want

*** Although I HAD MY FIRST VOICE LESSON IN FOREVER on Monday YAAAAAAAY.  It wasn’t even as bad as feared^ but I still have a good deal of lost ground to make up.  AND BOTH MY PIANO AND I SOUND DIFFERENT IN THIRD HOUSE’S SITTING ROOM.

^ Although if it had been as bad as feared it would have involved alien abduction and earthquakes and a recount in Scotland that demonstrated that they’d left the UK after all, which leaves quite a lot of room for a voice lesson still to be pretty bad in.

 

 

Hellhound birthday

 

Hellhounds are EIGHT YEARS OLD TODAY.  How time flies when YOU KEEP MOVING HOUSE.*  Meanwhile I got home later tonight than planned and discovered us embroiled in Fresh Connectivity Issues**  JOY.  And furthermore my piano tuner is coming tomorrow not Tuesday–ahem, in the MORNING.***  So you’ll have to forgive me merely slamming a bunch of photos at you without my usual graceful and spirited commentary.  And as you cast your gaze over all these sleeping-hellhounds photos remember what I said on Pav’s birthday about needing to remember to find the action-shot button on my camera before I need it.  All or nearly all the sprinting hellhound photos you remember are from my old camera which was a lot less glam but also a lot less complicated.

And if the background looks familiar, yes, these are all from the mews.  I’m not even close to taking photos indoors at Third House.

Also forgive me if I linger a little on what is essentially the same shot.  They’re so cute when they’re asleep.#

P1060028 crop

 

P1060031 crop

 

P1060049

 

P1060051

 

P1060055

AWWWWWWW.  Wooshily wooshily.

P1060187 crop

 

P1060226 crop

 

P1060545 more crop

Hee hee hee hee.  This is Darkness’ characteristic pose but Chaos does flip over on his back and look ridiculous occasionally too.  SOMEWHERE I have a photo of them both upside down and grinning like loonies simultaneously but I can’t find it.

P1060670

I have to organise Sofa Time at Third House.  I get a lot of beady eyes when the hellterror is in my lap.  ALL VERY WELL FOR HER.  WHERE’S OUR SOFA?##

* * *

* I hope we get to STAY HERE.

** Late Sunday evening, you know.

*** JOY.  The real kind.

# And not chasing frelling hedgehogs–I keep reminding myself hedgehog numbers are dwindling and endangered but I wish they’d have a population explosion somewhere else–or refusing to eat their lovely birthday dinner full of raw liver which when they’re eating is their favourite thing^, or nailing the sodding next door terrier except that I STOPPED THEM WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME.  Neighbourly relations are going to get kind of strained here soon if next door doesn’t figure out they now need to keep the little **** on lead on this street.  They needed to keep it on lead before, when it regularly crapped in my driveway but . . .

^ Possibly second favourite thing.  They adore butter, and I’m YAAAAAAY CALORIES, but I imagine serious amounts of butter would not be a good idea.  Besides if I gave it to them often or in quantity they’d go off it.  It would become food.

## If I get organised enough we can also lie in heaps all over the bed in the attic, which is nice and low, unlike the hip-high four-poster at the cottage which furthermore, because it’s a very small bedroom full of stuff has no good angles of approach for leaping hellhounds.  I have enough trouble even with longer legs and hands to hold onto bedposts with–and no, I don’t want to try with a hellterror under one arm.

Pav

 

IT’S PAV’S BIRTHDAY TODAY.  PAV IS TWO YEARS OLD.  . . . Which basically means she’s a snarky adolescent with a lot of attitude.  Yeah.  That about covers it.  She’s also adorable.  Just by the way.  And she’s been remarkably good-natured about the amount of time she’s been spending in crates the last week.  There are occasional eruptions but she always comes out the open door smiling and ready to have a good time.

I’d like to say I fed her steak for her birthday.  Um.  I didn’t feed her steak.  But we had a very good Long Yellow Thing game this morning and a faaaaabulous tear around Third House’s garden this afternoon followed by a long lap.

 

Subduing the Long Yellow Thing in a significant manner.  Hellgoddess is tiresomely finishing doing the washing-up.

Subduing the Long Yellow Thing in a significant manner. Hellgoddess is tiresomely finishing doing the washing-up.

 

Note leg-clutching action.  This is all part of essential hellterror strategy.

Note leg-clutching action. This is all part of essential hellterror strategy.

 

 

I've got it.  No, I've got it.  No, I've got it.  NO.  I'VE GOT IT.

I’ve got it. No, I’ve got it. No, I’ve got it. NO. I’VE GOT IT.

 

 

 

Jaws of death.  And to make sure I'm properly intimidated, she puts one heavy little foot on my foot.

Jaws of death. And to make sure I’m properly intimidated, she puts one heavy little foot on my foot.

 

 

Faster than a speeding hellterror.  One of these days I have to remind myself where the fast-action button on my camera is BEFORE I need it.

Faster than a speeding hellterror. One of these days I have to remind myself where the fast-action button on my camera is BEFORE I need it.

 

 

Look at her leaning into her corners.  What a relay racer she'd make.  Of course she'd have bitten the baton on half.

Look at her leaning into her corners. What a relay racer she’d make. Of course she’d have bitten the baton in half.

 

 

I'm not sure even the speed button on a pretty good camera could cope with a hellterror in full hucklebutt.  This is the spinning round and round phase.

I’m not sure even the speed button on a pretty good camera could cope with a hellterror in full hucklebutt. This is the spinning round and round phase.

 

There’s running around like a mad thing, and there’s hucklebutting.  These are two separate and distinct activities.  Hucklebutting frequently evolves from running around like a mad thing with the addition of certain agility feats including end-swapping, spinning round and round and rolling over and over and over.   The interesting thing about this last aspect is that it tends to happen an inch or two above the ground.  I have no idea.  I only report what I see.

Little badger-face streak.

Little badger-face streak.

 

Mistress of all she surveys.  With maybe a little input from two hellhounds and a hellgoddess.  But that nasty noisy little terrier object next door doesn't have a chance.

Mistress of all she surveys. With maybe a little input from two hellhounds and a hellgoddess. But that nasty noisy little terrier object next door doesn’t have a chance.

It RAINED last night.  Just in time for the greenish stuff that we mow as if it were grass to take a deep happy breath and . . . turn more or less green again.  Third House’s garden really is triangular, that’s not an optical illusion.   It’ll be a really nice garden again as soon as we get the house a little more under control.  Well not as soon as but you know what I mean.  At the moment the willowherb is winning.

If I didn't know better I'd think she stood on my foot at every opportunity because one of her legs is shorter than the other three.

If I didn’t know better I’d think she stood on my foot at every opportunity because one of her legs is shorter than the other three.

This in fact is the moment when Peter came out to join the fray, I mean fun, and she wanted to make sure I’d noticed.  Unfortunately all the photos of her and him are either hopelessly blurry or I’ve cut his head off.  You’ll just have to assume that a good time was had by all.  Bruises optional.

The hellterror morning ritual

 

I meant to write you a proper blog post tonight but the day has got away from me as days can do.*  So I thought I’d finally post The Hellterror’s Morning Ritual.  We all had a very itchy patch at the beginning of the spring.  The three hellcritters ate holes in their fur, but it only really showed on the hellterror because of black overcoat, beige undercoat and pale pink skin:  the hellhounds mostly match:  steel-grey Darkness has black skin and fawn-coloured Chaos has pale skin.  I had swollen ITCHY red eyes and I might well have chewed my eyelashes off if my face were configured for it.  Everybody’s hair has mostly grown in again, but I almost miss the extravagance of the hellterror’s ritual when she really, really, really wants to scratch her back.  Lately she’s more interested in whacking me with her long yellow rubber toy till I yield to the inevitable and play with her.   But she doesn’t look moth eaten any more.

P1060345

 

P1060347

 

P1060348

 

P1060350

 

P1060352

 

P1060353

 

P1060354

 

P1060355

 

P1060356

 

P1060357

 

You have dogs because they make you laugh.

* * *

* This includes that Penelope and I went to a big National Trust garden over Ditherington direction this afternoon and sat in the sun and totally vagued out the way denizens of the British Isles may very well because . . . sunlight!?!^

^ Also because most of Main Street in New Arcadia has been dug up and is in heaps placed for maximum inconvenience plus scaffolding+ and temporary stoplights with boa-constrictor sized cables running everywhere and GETTING ANYWHERE takes about 1,000,000 times longer than usual.  In fact, I’m still in a frelling queue.

+ The scaffolding is up near me and isn’t the town unplanners or anything civic.  The Big House on the Corner belongs to We Are Wealthier Than God#, You Are Peons and We Don’t Care, and they put scaffolding up at least once a year when buying and selling small countries palls and they want to make their presence felt closer to home.  Then they hang workpersons all over the scaffolding in decorative patterns.  Who eat sandwiches and chat and sometimes they sit on the planks dangling their feet.  And six weeks or six months later they take the scaffolding down again.

# I don’t think God does money, does he/she/they?

 

Wolfgang my hero

 

 

Yes.  The hatchback closes too.

Yes. The hatchback closes too.

 

One of the nasty little surprises awaiting me at Third House* was the FRELLING BOXES OF OLD PAPER FILES.  Crushed frelling boxes, just by the way, since they’d got mixed up with the backlist.  But when Atlas was loading up his trailer to take backlist to the storage unit last autumn I asked him to set anything that wasn’t book boxes aside.  And then life happened and the last few months Atlas has seen more of Third House than I have.**

It’s quite amazing how much STUFF is left after you’ve emptied a house.  Curtains.  Rolled up rugs.  Bits of china you never liked and hadn’t decided what to do with.  BOOKS THAT MUST BE SORTED.  It’s also quite amazing how many old files I seem to have.  Speaking of things that need sorting.

Twenty or thirty years ago when I was buying filing cabinets in Maine you could get black ones.  Or grey ones.  Or black.  Or grey.  Or . . . I bought black.  But I did not love them, and I left them behind because standard British paper is longer than standard American paper and it wasn’t going to fit in standard American filing cabinets.  I had a gorgeous old wooden filing cabinet at the old house, its only drawbacks being that it took ten strong men and a team of eight Shire horses to move it and that the drawers kept falling off their rails.  It then declined to fit through the door at Third House.  MORE ARRRGH.  So I sold it, and put the files in cardboard boxes.  Which I was going to deal with.  Later.

Well.  It’s later.  And I have to WEDGE everything I had sprawled all over Third House into the attic because the ground floor is now Peter’s.***

I went on line.  I searched for two-drawer filing cabinets, because they have to fit under the eaves that make the attic a living space for people who like crawling around on their hands and knees.  COLOURED FILING CABINETS.  COLOURED FILING CABINETS.  Be still my heart.  So I bought a PINK one.  Of course I bought a pink one.  Two pink ones is so obvious however so I bought a yellow one.†   Yaaay.

Except that the on line description says ‘self assembly’.  Golly, I thought, nuts and bolts.  But I have my secret weapon, Atlas, so, fine.  I ordered.  And I had them delivered to the cottage because of the whole WHAT DO YOU MEAN DELIVER TO AN ADDRESS NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR CREDIT CARD AND OF COURSE WE AREN’T GOING TO TELL YOU WHEN WE’RE ARRIVING SO YOU CAN GET UP THERE TO ACCEPT DELIVERY.  WHICH WE WON’T LET YOU HAVE ANYWAY BECAUSE IT’S NOT THE ADDRESS ATTACHED TO YOUR CREDIT CARD thing.

I don’t know what the self-assembly part is but two filing cabinets arrived today.  I looked at them and my heart sank.  I wasn’t at all sure even one of them lying on its side would fit in Wolfgang’s boot.

Wolfgang, my hero.

* * *

* That’s aside from the fact that we’re going to have to RIP OUT BOOKSHELVES to get Peter’s desk into his office.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.  What is wrong with it is that the second, smaller bedroom is now a staircase with a little angular wodge of semi-usable space around it.  Arrrgh.  Building regs^ ARRRRRRRGH.  And Peter is so inconvenient as to have a LARGE desk.  Why can’t he just balance his laptop on his knee?  Feh.  Half a wall of bookshelves has to go.  Misery.

^ For anyone who wasn’t reading the blog then:  I wanted to put a WEIGHT BEARING FLOOR in the attic for all the BACKLIST.  As soon as you put in a weight-bearing floor the Building Regulation Goons are all over you.  A weight-bearing floor means living space, never mind you can’t stand up in it.  Or that it’s going to be full of boxes of books.  Living space means you have to have a proper staircase.  Good bye, second bedroom.

** Mowing the grass, propping up the frelling FRELLING boundary fence so next door’s evil little ratbag terrier doesn’t keep getting through and crapping all over my garden,^ taking over the garden shed with boy tools.

^ Evil little spiky-haired ratbag terriers are an entirely different, monumentally inferior order of being from, you know, bull coughcoughcough terriers.

*** This happens to involve carrying all 1,098 crushed boxes of files up the stairs to the attic again.

† I probably need three or four.  I’ll worry about that LATER.

Next Page »

The scarier the world becomes, the more important it is to focus on the correct use of 'less' and 'fewer'. -- Ian Martin