January 12, 2012

Death-deflecting chocolate


Oh BLERG.  When (still) feeling like death and mildew and old socks . . . clearly chocolate is called for.*  Besides, I need a night off. 

              Sometimes what you want is whatever you can do really fast. 

(Almost) Instant Chocolate Gratification 

4 T butter

8 oz dark chocolate

2 T golden syrup, dark Karo, or light molasses (warning:  molasses has much more flavour than the other two.  You need to like the taste of molasses if you use it here)

Cinnamon or vanilla, possibly

8 oz plain digestive biscuits, rich tea biscuits, wheatmeal biscuits, vanilla wafers, graham crackers, or whatever of that kind of thing either takes your fancy or you can grab in a hurry because the necessary moment is NOW 

Melt butter, chocolate and liquid sugar together gently in a small pan.  Stir till thoroughly mixed.  If you want to use cinnamon or vanilla, use a half-tsp here.  I use cinnamon not vanilla when I use molasses, other than that it’s whatever.

Rolling-pin your biscuits to fine crumbs.  Stir the chocolate stuff in.

Pour into a greased or carefully parchment-papered (this includes up the sides) 8” square pan and refrigerator for several hours till set.  Don’t cheat:  it’s messy and annoying if you do.

So I guess I should say making this is dead fast (and easy).  Waiting around for it to finish turning into itself you need a sofa, some hellhounds, and a few trashy novels.


Less (Almost) Instant Chocolate Gratification, But Still Pretty Fast 

10 oz dark chocolate

6 T butter

1 egg

½ tsp vanilla

1 c granulated sugar

1 ¼ c plain flour

½ tsp baking powder 

Reserve about 2T of the sugar.

Melt chocolate and butter together and cool.  Beat the egg, then beat in the sugar till light and pale.  Add the chocolate mixture when it’s cool enough not to cook the egg** and the vanilla.  Then add the flour.  If it gets too stiff to stir easily, knead the rest in.

Break off bits of the dough and roll cookies into big round pebbles the size of walnuts.  (I do this between my palms.  Some people prefer a table.)  Roll in the reserved sugar.  Then space out on a parchment paper lined baking sheet.  I squish them very lightly with a finger so they don’t roll around.  They will not be pretty if they turn themselves from free electrons into molecule clumps.  Ahem.  You can get the lot on a single baking sheet, but use all the space, they do spread.

400° for 8-10 minutes.  They crack all over. 

They don’t take nearly as long to cool as the refrigerator bars do to set. 

            And may we all sleep better tonight than I did last night. 

* * *

 * At least Chaos is feeling better.

 ** Generally speaking this is less of a disaster than you might think.  In ordinary daily the-queen-is-not-coming-to-tea baking infinitesimal flakes of cooked egg disappear.  Fortunately.


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