September 30, 2011

Giggling, various


Rain.drop7:  You shouldn’t have said the thing about a doodle Mona Lisa, Robin. . . .
You have opened the door to a whole world of new, complicated doodle ideas. Just remember that you brought this upon yourself.


Hi, my name is Muffy


Never tease a doodler.  They are all mentally unbalanced and prone to whimsy.  NOTE THAT IF ANY OF YOU ARE POSSESSED BY THE DEMONIC SPIRT and decide to ask for anything of this sort . . . and I’m aware that I may have made a serious error here . . . there are not necessarily all that many famous paintings that would doodle well, at least not by me.  You need a single, strong, fairly simple, immediately recognisable image—so for example Birth of Venus, yes, Monet’s frelling water lilies, no.  And it still needs to be something I can do—and something, you know, twistable.  Mona Lisa’s smile has of course been cartooned, parodied, lampooned, pastiched, and doodled many many many times.  Just not by me.  Before now. 

 * * *

Meanwhile . . . fourteen hours.  Whimper.* 

Diane in MN:  on the . . . bright side, it’s a wedding, so the happy couple are the main attraction, not the choir, and the crowd should by rights be looking at the bride. 

They’ll be spending the whole rest of the wedding looking at the bride.  For the three and a half minutes of our anthem they’ll be looking at us.  And furthermore the extremely pretty yet restrained blue frock I was planning to wear has long sleeves and it’s going to be another Death Valley scorcher tomorrow. 

Harpergray:  . . .  as a denizen of the front row, you also have the opportunity to watch any shenanigans that happen to occur during the course of the wedding. 

Don’t get my hopes up.  It would be worth it if someone fell down or dropped the ring in the font, or a pew broke or something.  Unfortunately one can’t really wish for these things at a wedding:  it’s too unkind.  Even knowing that it would become their favourite story in thirty years or so . . . it’s still too unkind.  Which means you can’t really enjoy it if it happens.  I hope there are some good frocks.  The one drawback to the excellence of being hidden away as a bell ringer is that you rarely get a good up-close view of the assembled.

            But you know the worst thing?  I won’t be able to knit.  Maybe I should rethink the second sopranos.  The second sopranos are in the second row.  They could knit.     


CathyR: Just deciding where to hang my doodles, once they’re framed …


Well, did you think they were going to be hidden away in a drawer somewhere? 

No, I thought you were going to lay them into the books.  Good grief.  With or without recourse to glue sticks, depending on how you feel about this kind of thing.  But that’s what I’d do.  That or I’d laminate the freller(s) and use them as bookmarks.  

Just think how many sittingroom/bedroom/kitchen walls everywhere are going to be proudly sporting examples of McKinley-iana. 

I’m starting to feel a little squeamish here. . . . 

There will probably be entire episodes of the ‘Antiques Roadshow‘ devoted to it in about 50 years’ time… 

Oh, not entire episodes.  Special drawing episodes.  Phiz, Hogarth, Heath Robinson, Watterson . . . McKinley.

I’m sorry to hear about the ME having another go. I have lots of fingers crossed that it b*ggers off very soon. 



There will probably be entire episodes of the ‘Antiques Roadshow‘ devoted to it in about 50 years’ time…

Specialist: “What we have here are several excellent specimens of a McKinley doodle. McKinley began creating these in 2011, as a fundraiser for her local bell tower. May I ask where your grandmother got these doodles?”

Owner: “Um, well, I think she bought them on an online auction.”

Specialist: “Ah, yes. If so, then these may be some of McKinley’s early doodles. Now let’s look at the composition. This particular doodle here features two sight-hounds, captured in McKinley’s inimitable ‘line’ style. The fact that there are *two* sight-hounds means that this is what McKinley experts call a ‘doodlier doodle.’ The second doodle, which features a fanged and smiling pastry, is also a ‘doodlier doodle.'”

Confused but smiling owner: “Yeah, I never did get why the pastry had fangs.”

Specialist: “Ah, yes. That would be a reference to one of McKinley’s novels, Sunshine. It features vampires and cinnamon rolls as big as your head. Did your grandmother have any of McKinley’s books.”

Owner: “Oh, that explains it. I found the fanged muffin drawing inside this vampire book. The other doodle she had framed and hung next to the picture of her old dog.”

Specialist: “Well, thank you very much for bringing these in. It’s a pleasure to see such excellent specimens of McKinleyana.” 

:: falls down laughing :: **

* * *

* Although I am not unaware of the multitude of contradictions I am displaying here.  One can certainly be a professional writer and a hermit, although one’s publisher is likely to love one less if one refuses to let oneself be publicised^, but one’s pretensions to hermitry are permanently blown the moment one starts keeping a public blog.  Sure, I employ a lot of smoke and mirrors, but the stuff I hang on Days in the Life is genuine, it’s just selective.  And so what do I frequently choose to air on my public blog?  My own crippling stage fright, with lashings of agoraphobia and misanthropy, and including the fact that I keep leaving my comfortable burrow and going out and doing stuff that is going to bring all of this on.  Including writing a blog. 

            Go figure.^^ 

^ Only the books matter, frelling sod it.  The rest is just more or less amusing balderdash. 

^^ Oh, and it gets worse.  I have to miss the New Arcadia Theatre Society’s variety show, which I would have gone to just to hear Oisin play and sing Noel Coward, so I wheedled a private performance out of him this afternoon.+  Later, as I was leaving, I said, okay, next year, you, I and two other people can sing something for your variety show.  Great, said Oisin, much too quickly.

            I think you probably shouldn’t tease music teachers the way you shouldn’t tease doodlers. 

+ Very little wheedling was needed.  Oh, I could use another run-through, he said, and sat down at the piano.# 


~ Okay.  It’s true, I can do There Is A Tavern in the Town.  Sort of.  But it makes me feel like I’m patting my head and rubbing my stomach while doing a quadruple backward somersault without a net and reciting Lepanto.  In Hungarian.   And people do the playing-and-singing-in-public thing for a living?

** Note that there are the plain as well as the doodlier version of the fanged muffin.  The doodlier one includes a glass of champagne.


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