Guest post by Jeanne Marie
I know we’re due the second half of Jodi’s spinning post. But this just in, and . . . well, read on. –ed.
A Modest Proposal
My boyfriend, Hero, and I have been seeing each other* since the Summer Solstice. Mutual meeting of parents has occurred, as has much talk of the Big M-Word, and hopefully some time spent dating in the same city. We even looked at and tried on rings over the Thanksgiving break.
Adding to the amusement is that Hero’s 40th birthday was coming up.** I woefully told Hero that my bank account wouldn’t stretch far enough to cover three plane tickets in as many months (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Birthday), and then promptly received a sale notice on Southwest Airlines… “Mwahahahahahaha, let the plotting begin!!” I cried!
I casually asked after his best friend’s last name (Co-Conspirator) for Facebooking him, and was then able to contact him for conspiration and road-side assistance (getting me from the airport to Party Central). I also casually asked Hero for his mom’s email address, to thank her for the lovely Thanksgiving dinner - which I did, I just also included some “let’s plan a Surprise Party for Hero!” exclamation points!
I contacted a local and truly FABULOUS Party Pizza Place, and got party permission for the Big Birthday. My co-conspirators and I settled the drinks and dessert details (the Party Pizza Place was happily BYOB, and were happy for us to also BYOCheesecake – a Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake, thank you very much Hero’s mom!!), and I told them that the party décor was exclusively BATMAN!*** I have never been a fan of the dreary “black-and-doom-and-you’re-closer-to-death” kind of birthdays that seem to be common for 40th celebrations, and Hero is a big Bat-fan, so I thought so that a return to age 5, the Year of Batman, was pretty appropriate. All plans in place, we now needed to invite the masses!
A week and a half before the Big Day, I started sending messages out to all his Facebook friends…I got about 15 of them off before getting a “You Are Being A Spammer, Stop It!!” message from Facebook. So, I paused for about an hour, then re-commenced messaging…I didn’t get very far before getting the same red-outlined irate spamming accusation. So, I paused for the day and returned to messaging the next day. I got about 10 off before getting the “Spammer Alert” message this time. I continued to try with increasingly shorter lists of messages getting off before I would receive the “STOP IT” notice. Finally, about on Wednesday,^ I got a really Strident “STOP IT NOW!!!” message, and the next day, I had no access to his list of friends at all! Dread and Despair!! Not only is Facebook mad at me, but half the alphabet doesn’t know about the party!!
A quick call to the Co-Conspirator elicited a message to a few mutual friends that were in the second half of the alphabet, but even he couldn’t see any friends of Hero’s that weren’t mutual.^^ We wrung our hands a bit, then hoped that the grapevine would suffice.
Birthday Morning arrived! I called Hero’s favorite Starbucks, and pre-paid for his morning injection of Marble Mocha Macchiatto, blueberry muffins, and added a cute bearista-bear, then called Hero to tell him to be sure to visit his favorite Starbucks that morning before work. I texted him off and on all day, and headed for the airport just after lunch.
Co-Conspirator picked me up at the airport with the news that he hadn’t called or acknowledged Hero’s birthday at ALL,^^^ in order to sweeten the surprise with a bit of “how could my best friend forget?” bitterness (poor Hero – had I known how bitter the bitterness got for him, I wouldn’t have let Co-Conspirator do that). I texted Hero off and on while we drove to Party Pizza Place and set up tables and Bat-décor. Poor Hero was indeed a bit despondent! I texted him that I should be able to talk in a little while, then Co-Conspirator and I drove to Hero’s apartment. Co-Conspirator pounded on the door, while I lurked around the corner. Co-Conspirator hid out after pounding, leaving two gift bags on the porch. I texted Hero again, saying I should be free to talk in a minute. After giving Hero time to open the door and bemusedly peruse the gift bags and their contents, Co-Conspirator jumped out and greeted Hero. I gave them a moment, then I jumped out – and Hero’s eyes almost fell out of his head! He was incoherent with surprise! Yay for excellent subterfuge!!
We headed for the Party Pizza Place! Hero’s parents and a friend were waiting, sitting at the Bat-table, and a lovely meal was had by all.+ Much BYOB-ing was accomplished, much pizza was eaten, and many memories were shared over the meal. Then, it was time for the Raspberry White Chocolate Cheesecake! We lit the Bat-candle in its Bat-candle-holder, and sang a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday with the waitresses and many other patrons joining in. Hero entered into a discussion with his friend about the etiquette of revealing his birthday wish. Finally, he said that he would take the chance and reveal his birthday wish to everyone…
…whereupon, he pushed back his chair, took my hand, knelt down, and said to me “My birthday wish is for you, Jeanne Marie, to become my wife.”
Color me astonished!!
I gasped something only vaguely coherent, but including the important and enthusiastic word “YES!!” Hero pulled out a ring and slipped it onto my finger – a lovely silver and pearl ring++ I had admired a few weeks ago, that he had sneakily slipped into his pocket before we left his apartment. Then, he said Yay! and blew out his candle! Hero told me later that the whole table applauded while we smooched post-proposal, but I don’t actually remember that…I was too busy being astonished! After a moment, Hero winked and said to me “haha, that’ll teach you to surprise me!!”
The Beginning… Yay!!
* * *
* er…, talking on the phone to each other a LOT, which has involved four combined instances of heart-stopping, profanity-encouraging cell-phone-minute-overage bills…long distance dating is neither for the faint of heart, the hard of hearing, nor the financially challenged…
** and, come to find out that Hero SHARES the birthday of a Famous, OBE-Bearing Literary Figure!! How cool is that!!!^
^ Men born on the 16th of December make ESPECIALLY good husbands. –ed.
*** cue the Bat-music
^ I had only gotten through the M’s on his friends list
^^ new privacy thingy on Facebook, just in time…
^^^ they’ve been friends since junior high school
+ truly AMAZING pizza, folks – yummy!!
++
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