Big bangs and small whimpers
Okay, the good news is we’re still alive.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/sep/08/particlephysics.physics
Although I suppose the scoffers could be wrong about exactly how long it takes a black hole or twelve to eat a planet from the inside or it’s all magic gnomes anyway* who as we all know are eating the planet from the inside, but we’ve never found out the time frame and meanwhile we’re all still here. I believe however there’s another clandestine raid on the centre of the earth planned soon toward stealing the Grand Gnoble Gnome’s datebook so if your abseiling into bottomless black ravines skills are good you might want to apply.**
Other than that, it has not been a good day. Highlights include that the local weather report was absolutely certain that today would be better. Chirp chirp chirp, they said. Gullible fool that I am I almost didn’t take my raincoat on the morning hellhound hurtle. Fortunately my default position of black-hearted suspicion won out . . . because it rained hard, coldly, steadily, for about the first forty-five minutes while we, which is to say I, dragging wet, humpy-backed hellhounds on the ends of their wet leads***, stomped on obstinately through. At which point it sullenly more or less stopped adding superfluous water to the oozy countryside and we could focus our attention on not disappearing to our eyebrows in seasonal marshes. There is no walk we can take at the moment–outside of town pavement†–that does not involve dangerous bogs.††
Computer Man was here for two hours or so. Nothing he did worked, and one or two things are now worse.††† He’s coming back next week.
And we finally got the lab report on the hellhounds. Everything came back absolutely normal. There is nothing, nothing, NOTHING wrong with them whatsoever. See, right here in black and white, it says so.
And Chaos has the streaming yellow squirts.‡
* * *
* Or possibly hamsters. I have a friend who thinks that most of the work of the universe is done by magic hamsters. Sounds as plausible as a lot of the stuff I failed to learn in science classes or by reading Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything.
** There are actually some very good take-it-to-the-ignorant-populace articles on this
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/sep/10/cern.particlephysics
for example, where Stuart Jeffries writes things like: ‘Cern’s scientists also hope to find extra dimensions, perhaps as many as 10, coiled up in microscopic loops. (I look back on that last sentence wondering what the hell it means.)’ I can’t link you to the New Scientist because they want you to subscribe.
What I really want to find is a link to the front page of the G2 section of the Guardian today which is entitled: That Cern thing explained, and begins with what one might be forgiven for calling a bang with: ‘27km large haddock collider smashes barnacles together at 47 times the speed of matter . . . heat and pressure combine to create Cod particle.’ It continues with cheese quandrex and some really good equations where 34 has something to do with values of Big spinny whirry thing and Toblerone. This is my kind of science.^ But I have already spent most of today getting absolutely nothing done and I have decided that learning a little more about tricking or squeezing search engines into producing what you want is not the best way of spending the rest of it.
^ Ie largely edible and including chocolate.
*** Wet retractable nylon leads pong amazingly. Their harnesses, which go over their furry little bodies, get pretty frightening looking, but they do no worse than smell, rather reassuringly, of dog for a long time between washes. The leads . . . urg. And no, I don’t remember to unwind all 52 feet of them and let them air out by the Aga every night.
† And I’m starting to worry about what’s under the pavement. Aside from magic gnomes, that is.
†† My Scientific Rain Measuring Device stands at about five inches. I’m still thinking about ten inches in northeastern Louisiana . . . five inches is enough.
††† We’re trying to change email, do I mean servers? He set it up so email to the old addresses will be forwarded to the new, so I can start using the new before I am divested of the security of the old. What has happened in effect is that this has made the old addresses Look Funny somehow, so when I try and use them–because the new ones are DRIVING ME INSANE, which is why Computer Man was trying to be kind and give me a settling-in period–all my computers sign on, look around, and come sharply to attention, like Darkness sighting a pheasant or Chaos sighting anything at all, and, loosening their ray guns in their holsters say, Waaaait a minute, this one is not what it appears to be, no, no, no, we strongly recommend you have nothing to do with it. –AAAAAAAUGH.
‡ Probably because I made him go for a walk in the rain.
Note that I went bell ringing anyway. Which was worth it because I lurched successfully through a long touch of Grandsire–a long enough touch that I was not the only person worrying that Wild Robert was slipping a rogue quarter in on us–including the always agreeable sensation of watching a better, more experienced ringer than myself going adrift and having to be hauled back on course by Wild Robert.
Oh yes and the floor was clean when I got home. I make no predictions about the quality and unbrokenness of my sleep in the night to come.
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****** Oh yes and the floor was clean when I got home. I make no predictions about the quality and unbrokenness of my sleep in the night to come.
Sending you trained magic hamsters who wipe fevered hellhound brows and whisper soothing thoughts to calm digestive tracts :)
And hurray on ever better bell ringing skills!!
Boo! Hiss! to the weather… and flag the dangerous bogs so that your army of blog readers can come and rescue you should you slither into one – thinking it might be more Michael Crawford/some mothers rather than superhero style, but we have blackbear so maybe she could channel our enthusiasm?!
it might be more Michael Crawford/some mothers rather than superhero style, but we have blackbear so maybe she could channel our enthusiasm?!
********** Please translate this series of opaque references? :)
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****** blog readers can come and rescue you should you slither into one – thinking it might be more Michael Crawford/some mothers rather than superhero style, but we have blackbear so maybe she could channel our enthusiasm?!
Michael Crawford played a character in a sitcom who was idiotic and helpless, but always with the best intentions, whereas blackbear who even finds superheroes crossing welsh roads could help us rescue you with elan and flair…
unless the hellhounds had already helped you by jumping on you and licking you to death, because if you’re lying on the ground it might be playtime?
And arm gnawing. Not to forget the arm gnawing. Guaranteed to wake you up from SOUND slumber as well as serious focussed concentration (WHAT?).
****** And arm gnawing. Not to forget the arm gnawing.
only the most well adjusted dogs do “hand holding” and arm gnawing – oh yes, and head butting, mine do that, or they aim their pointy little feet, rear up on their back legs and dive at you. Lots of bruises in awkward to explain away places LOL
Oh, you too? :) It’s particularly difficult with Not Animal People. I ENJOY the silliness. I don’t actually WANT Rin Tin Tin. :)
****** It’s particularly difficult with Not Animal People. I ENJOY the silliness. I don’t actually WANT Rin Tin Tin. :)
Yes, I want dogs to enjoy being with, not an army of minions – and I have so much more fun when they are having fun too. Today’s silly photo is of a naughty dog who shouldn’t be doing this…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/26303732@N02/2847118606/
and I hope it doesn’t crash your ‘puter today :(
I strongly approve of her choice of reading material! :)
There, there. If the world didn’t end in a black hole, not all is bad, is it?
I’ve got a feline with a similar reoccurring yellow-squirts with absolutely-nothing-wrong-with-her. She has permanent sinus damage from kitten hood illness which I think might contribute to the problem. Anyway, I’ve found that using bene-bac — which is a benefical bacterial formula sold in petstores here — works really well for her.
Basically, the problem isn’t something introduced to her system it’s something missing. She loses the normal stomach flora and needs it reintroduced.
So, anyway, thought I’d pass that story along . . .
Yes. Someone else has mentioned Bene-bac. I don’t know what the English equivalent is but I should find out. Thanks.
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I sometimes take probiotics after I have to take antibiotics. Is this the same sort of thing?
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I’ve now tried them on probiotics and it doesn’t *seem* to make a difference . . . but they’re so erratic anyway, who knows? They haven’t got *less erratic* if you follow me.
Well, gee, good to know there’s NOTHING wrong with the dogs.
Fortunately my default position of black-hearted suspicion won out . . .
LOL. It’s good to have a default position that leaves you either correct, or pleasantly surprised when wrong. :)
pleasantly surprised when wrong.
********* Words to live by. :)
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The Hellhounds don’t *need* to have anything wrong with them. They are hellhounds for dogs sake and they are emotionally linked with the stress level of the Hellgoddess.
And I did try to send you some blue sky. ::tries again::
IF THEY’RE MANIFESTING MY STRESS LEVEL WE’RE ***ALLLLLL**** IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
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IF THEY’RE MANIFESTING MY STRESS LEVEL WE’RE ***ALLLLLL**** IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
Yeah. I kind of figured we would be.
Cake? ;)
Yes please. Chocolate? :)
Yes please. Chocolate? :)
::checks pantry::
Well I do have some Ginger Fluff sponge. It was my first attempt. Tastes right. Rose up pretty well right. Needs more work but a good start.
Oh and I have these choc chip cookies. Someone gave me the recipe. ;)
I have 2 choc cake recipes I need to practice before the show. I need a choc cake that comes out with no cracks and a beautifully level top ……
That’s about your OVEN not about the recipe. I don’t think I’ve yet posted McKinley’s Exploding Chocolate Cake recipe, or the Story of How I Fell in Love with the Aga. It’s all about OVENS.
Poor Chaos! – is Darkness OK? And nothing’s wrong – reminds me depressingly of my “I-don’t-know-what’s-wrong-with-you”-doctor, it makes one feel so helpless! Well, all I can say is that I hope that the “nothing” ailing the hellhounds goes away – for ever! (perhaps into another dimension as a snack for a black hole) – and that you and they have a good night’s sleep and wake up to sunny skies and lovely weather! (I suppose you’ll be reading this tomorrow night, but then the wish holds good for Friday too!)
Sun and a LACK of the squirts would be very welcome . . . sigh . . .
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Butt atoms made the world go ’round. I cracked up my first boyfriend, who was earnestly trying to coach me in chemistry, with that one. It was alll downhill from there *evil grin.*
Aided by the hamsters, I am sure. It’s just the kind of thing they’d do.
Having been keeping up on my blog reading so not sure if you’ve tried this with your dogs already, but have you tried switching to an all natural/mostly organic dog food to try to regulate their systems? If not I would recommend Before Grain which is put out by Merrick. It’s what we feed our dogs and it’s pretty awesome so I hope this helps relieve the dogs’ digestive tracks.
They are as near to 100% organic as I can manage. And they do get rice but no wheat or soy.
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You can’t get hamsters in Australia, I think in the southern hemisphere it must be magic guinea pigs.
No, no, these are UNIVERSAL hamsters. And possibly chipmunks and guinea pigs. :)
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****And we finally got the lab report on the hellhounds. Everything came back absolutely normal. There is nothing, nothing, NOTHING wrong with them whatsoever. See, right here in black and white, it says so.****
Alpha Bitch is very susceptible to cystitis when in a state of hormonal flux. She also had a bout of hard-to-get-rid-of cystitis when she was a puppy, before sexual maturity. We could never culture ANYTHING from her urine, but she responds in a day to antibiotics. Obviously coming in and/or out of estrus affects her internal flora and lets something start growing, but whatever it is doesn’t make it to the lab. Your guys must do something similar. It’s so frustrating–much sympathy.
Krystolla mentioned Bene-bac–Teddy’s breeder uses it for puppy diarrhea, with pretty good results.
****the G2 section of the Guardian today which is entitled: That Cern thing explained****
This sounds great. If it weren’t WAY too late already, I’d try to track it down.
****I lurched successfully through a long touch of Grandsire****
Congratulations! Nice to have one bright spot, anyway!
Yes, I was pleased that we hadn’t all disappeared into a black hole. I saw the item about this Cern thingy on the news last night, and was so gobsmacked at the billions of dollars that it cost that I couldn’t really get my head around what it actually DID.
Just by the way, my favourite piece of slightly out-there scientific theory is a friend’s hypothesis that global warming might have something to do with all of the baby boomers hitting menopause…….
. . . SNORK. Well, I fear I am certainly contributing.
I can’t get my head around what the big new spinny whirly thing does either, and that has NOTHING to do with the cost.
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This maybe useless, but what about Carob? It is supposed to stop the yellow evil in people, and is dog safe.
Oh my. Well I haven’t tried that one yet.
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Maybe now that there’s nothing wrong with the hellhounds in writing, they’ll shape up and start eating right.
Via EBear*: http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/
*Who is http://matociquala.livejournal.com/
I don’t dare click on anything tonight [shakes fist at computer] . . .
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No, No… Little white mice run the world. Didn’t Douglas Adams teach us anything? Though, I suppose it is possible that they employ the hamsters and the gnomes to do their dirty work….
And chipmunks. I’ve never been sure that my friend was right, and that it’s hamsters, not chipmunks.
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What’s the Calvin and Hobbes quote about if you set your expectations low enough, everything looks like a success?
AAAAARGH about the hellhounds. You’re amazing. I would have lost patience by now and be feeding them whatever the hell they’d eat (including fast food, small plants, and road tar), and sulking constantly.
We haven’t had nearly as much rain here as you, but we’ve had a lot, and I went in to buy a dehumidifier earlier this week, and got a lecture from the hardware store guy about how our mold problem wasn’t caused by rain almost every day all summer, no, it’s because we don’t have proper drainage under our house. Thanks, I live in an apartment, my landlady doesn’t speak English very well, we’re not digging up the building to reinstall drainage stuff and I’m quite sure it’s damp inside because IT RAINED EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL FRACKING SUMMER!
Sod off.
I regularly threaten to shove them out the door and let them fend for themselves. . . . They don’t seem too worried. Sigh.
I have a Regular Aga Guy who cleans the Aga every year but one year I had a Different Aga Guy who tried to play the heavy with me about the fact that my exhaust pipe ISN’T AT THE EXACTLY RIGHT ANGLE!!!! I’M SUPPOSED TO TEAR OUT THE SIDE OF MY HOUSE AND ****REINSTALL IT****! Mind you, it passes all the Exhaust Tests and burning efficiency tests blah blah blah blah . . . he should meet your humidifier guy.
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I’ve been following the hellhounds’ digestive troubles with sympathy. I know many people have offered suggestions, and I couldn’t resist adding mine.
I have a cat that developed IBS of no detectable origin at only a year old and defied treatment to the point that the vet was contemplating surgery to do a biopsy as a last hope. The IBS was brought under control temporarily by prednisone, but what finally really helped was a change in diet to a grain-free food, and liberal doses of slippery elm (in capsule form – I broke open the capsules and combined the contents with enough water to make a paste that could be given by mouth with a syringe) at first several times a day and now occasionally to control the rare flare-ups. My fingers are crossed that you will find the hellhounds’ solution soon.
I’d like to offer a very belated thank you for the Chalice excerpt. I was being very patient until the excerpt, and now not so patient. I can even tell you the exact point where I went from happily reading along to absolutely hooked – that moment of sympathy when she sees his strain and exhaustion.
Thanks to the person who posted the planarity.net link. I’m not sure my boss will be so thankful, though. :-)
Laura in NY
*****Okay, the good news is we’re still alive.*****
There’s actually a novel about this by thriller writer Douglas Preston:
http://www.amazon.com/Blasphemy-Douglas-Preston/dp/0765311054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221163161&sr=1-1
I enjoyed it very much. In fact, I have two extra copies, because I somehow managed to order three from Amazon by accident instead of one. Now I have one promised to someone else and a third with nothing to do with it but find it a good home.
*****And we finally got the lab report on the hellhounds. Everything came back absolutely normal. There is nothing, nothing, NOTHING wrong with them whatsoever. See, right here in black and white, it says so.*****
Sigh. That has got to be so frustrating. I’m sending good thoughts their way.
Judith
Speaking as a physicist (nuclear, not particle), it is very hard to write a good article on physics for the general public. (The Guardian article does a good job.) It involves implicit translation from the original language (math) to whatever you are trying to write in. Physicists are ok at explaining what we do, but the why is usually caught up in equations (which look complicated if you don’t know the math) and one must balance between an accurate translation and trying not to lose people that believe they are incapable of understanding it (which is true if they don’t try). The beauty and symmetry that are so apparent in the math usually get lost in either the translation or the PR people.
I work at a big spinny whirly thing (cyclotron) and an entire section of my desk drawer is devoted to storing chocolate. (Toblerones are unfortunately missing, because it’s difficult to find the dark kind in the US.) If only I had an accelerator that could produce fresh fish!
“And we finally got the lab report on the hellhounds. Everything came back absolutely normal. There is nothing, nothing, NOTHING wrong with them whatsoever.”
With as much time as the poor hellhounds have spent at the vet, I’m assuming the possibility that their malaise is something as simple as a food sensitivity/allergy has been considered and discarded long since?
Yep. Sigh. I suppose they might be allergic to *air* . . .
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I suppose they might be allergic to *air* . . .
pfft. That would be too *easy*. Oh no – it has to be more creative than that!!
Eg. Mondays – air; Tuesdays – dust; Wednesdays – grass; Thursday – food; Friday – water; Saturday – hard work; Sunday – (free choice). The following week the order would be changed. Wouldn’t want you figuring out their system would they?!
*LOL* Sounds a bit like learning some bell patterns. . . .
Re the world not ending, I believe that all they have been doing so far is check that the machine works. They haven’t actually started banging particles together yet (or whatever it is they are planning to do). So keep watching the website, in case the answer changes to yes. Then we’ll all be in trouble.
Nah. The magic gnomes will save us. It’s THEIR planet too.
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Yes, well, I’ve renamed my cats Mittens and Slippers, and it doesn’t seem to bother them. Neither does calling them Hearth Rug or Emergency Food Supply #1 and #2. Looming threat doesn’t seem to work on animals somehow.
In my next life, if I’m particularly good, I’ll have an Aga. Without a terrible Aga Guy.
Ah yes, Hearth Rug. A very popular name. Also Muff, Collar, and Tippet.
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