Clear days on the publishing front . . .
. . . a title I believe I’ve stolen from The New Yorker, which used to publish lovely little bottom-of-column fillers about various insanities of modern life, including publishing life.
The following is an excerpt from Peter’s A BONE FROM A DRY SEA. The novel is two stories: one about an ancient prehistory when humans were, perhaps, first becoming human; and one about a modern archaeological dig that is discovering those early almost-humans’ remains. Each story features one of Peter’s signature scarily intelligent preadolescent girls, who sort out the slow local grown-ups, because the grown-ups are incapable of doing it for themselves. This bit is from the prehistoric story; the tribe has just successfully hunted a shoal of fish with the help of some dolphins.
Read carefully, there will be a test in a minute.*
. . . Twice more the cycle was repeated before the remains of the shoal escaped, scurrying along below the southern crags. As Li stood panting on the rock spit two of the dolphins came cruising through the clear water beside her. All around her lay dead and dying fish. She picked a couple up and flung them out, and the dolphins rose and took them just as they hit the surface. Almost at once the other dolphins arrived and hung below her, waiting expectantly. Ma-ma, Hooa, and Rawi were already harvesting the fish on the other side of the [harbour] entrance. Goor was carrying one up for Presh. The ones this side, Li felt, were rightly the dolphins’ share.
When she had all but cleared the rocks around her she picked up the last two, slid down into the water, and kicked gently toward the dolphins. They backed away, so she waited, treading water, with a fish held in each hand until they became inquisitive and drifted in. Two of them took the fish, but suddenly they backed away again.
Goor had appeared beside her. She made a Be still sign and then they waited, rising to the surface only when they needed air. Li knew the dolphins were still nearby, because of the sounds they made, their wailing whistles and clicks, call and answer, filling the sea around her. Shadowy shapes loomed, neared, took shape, came close, circled until she could stroke the long flanks as they passed, and returned to caress themselves against her body.
Then they swam together, dolphins and people, through the greeny-golden sea world, not in a wild dance full of rush and foam but in a slow, close, gentle weaving of bodies in the friendly water, while the dolphins’ song went on and on, filling the sea like the wavering sunlight. Li understood it to be song because the only sound she knew at all like it was the song of the tribe waking in the morning to greet the returning day.
The dolphins left without a signal, but the song continued in the water, dwindling as it went, until they rounded a headland and it was lost. Li and Goor waited a long while, hoping, but they didn’t come back.
Subj: Pancake permission request
From: MFidgit@FamousWriterAgency.co.uk
To: FamousWriter@thingummy.com
Dear Peter,
I hope you are well. We’ve had a permission request from the publisher Pancake, who would like to include an extract of 792 words from A BONE FROM A DRY SEA on their website http://www.politicalcorrectnessrunmad.com/ and as part of their secured on-line testing through that site. The material would be available for the academic year 2010-2011. We would suggest a fee of US$notnearlyenough. Please do let me know if you’re happy for this to go ahead on these terms.
Best wishes,
Melusine Fidgit
Assistant to the Hon. Fabian Thrib, Famous Writer Agent
Subj: Re: Pancake permission request
From: FamousWriter@Thingummy.com
To: MFidgit@FamousWriterAgency.co.uk
Thanks for sending me the extract from BONE that Pancake want. I see that they’ve marked the word “Caress” “edit”. I’d much rather they left it as it is, but if they still want to change it would they please consult me about how they do it. Thanks, PD
Subj: Dickinson permission
From: MFidgit@FamousWriterAgency.co.uk
To: FamousWriter@Thingummy.com
Dear Peter,
Further to your email about the use of the word ‘caress’ in the permission extract, here is the response from the American publisher. How would you like us to respond? We’d be quite happy to insist that they use the word as originally written! But if you’re happy for them to run some suggested compromises past you, then please let me know.
Best wishes,
Melusine
From: Elspeth WinkleTo: Melusine Fidgit
Subject: RE: DICKINSON permission
Melusine,
Thank you for your email. The word “CARESS” is a “no-no word” in the assessment test development world. It cannot be used. I understand Mr. Dickinson and his concerns. However, if that word is not edited out, we will not be able to use the work.
When the passages are presented to our client for passage review, many committees will scrutinize each work, looking for all kinds of potential problems and sensitivities. Since the taxpayers’ money is used, the entire populace must be taken into consideration. That can get pretty ridiculous sometimes, but that is the world in which we are trying to function.
Elspeth
Elspeth Winkle
Permissions – Intellectual Properties
Pancake Publishing
I was grist to a similar mill when HERO was young: after it won the Newbery it came up a lot for textbook excerpts. I was an intransigent brute, however, and refused to let them change ‘witchwoman’–which kept me out of at least one textbook. And, you know, what were they going to change it to? Elf? Gnome? Nice old lady? Peter’s going to let them change caress, but he’s asked if there’s a list of the no no words. Stay tuned.
* But any typos are my typing
comments
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“Pancake Publishing”?
I also love how casually you mention your award for the most prestigious contribution to children’s literature.
Sure. It’s what happens after all the special interest groups have SAT on you.
HERO’s Newbery was a very long time ago and I have mixed feelings about awards.
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“Sure. [Pancake Publishing]’s what happens after all the special interest groups have SAT on you.”
*****I get it now! You’re funny.
LOL! Well, that’s the *idea*. . . .
??!!? WTH?? That’s *insane*.
The world’s gone mad. I can see there will be a much smaller vocab in the next few generations at this rate. Of course we will be able to count on Hollywood to “contribute” to this delightful situation with plenty of crass (and often ugly) dialogue.
::mutter mutter grumble::
Yes. It’s idiotic. Take a reasonable level of care and turn it into an extreme rule. Has the world *always* run on idiotic extremes?
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Has the world *always* run on idiotic extremes?
Probably.
Aren’t we lucky that the pendulum is swinging so far in our lifetime?!
::snort::
>:-(
I think I need some chocolate.
Chocolate is ALWAYS the answer. Never mind the question. (I think that’s from a kitchen magnet . . . )
**** The word “CARESS” is a “no-no word” in the assessment test development world. It cannot be used. I understand Mr. Dickinson and his concerns. However, if that word is not edited out, we will not be able to use the work.
(speechless) – making opening and shutting mouth faces, but not a lot happening; dogs now clustered in a solid wall around person, gazing with interest at strange faces but (very unusually) no sound; dog (large) puts paws on knees and licks open mouth – YEEUURRGGHH!
Ok, can speak again (splutter, bleeah!) but now need to remove 2 mini bulls from lap who have suddenly become klingons in a tribble sort of fasion..
What sort of world bans “caress” regardless of context? I am now going to “caress” some dogs! So sue me!!
(large) puts paws on knees and licks open mouth – YEEUURRGGHH!
********* LOL! Yes! These guys are good at this, but the true mistress of the universe was Hazel, who had deadly nearly across-the-room aim and MILES of tongue . . . this graceful little whipcord dog!
Ok, can speak again (splutter, bleeah!)
********** Yes, dogs delighted with the effect they’ve had so are trying hard to do it again! Person wriggles! Such fun! What a good game!!!
but now need to remove 2 mini bulls from lap who have suddenly become klingons in a tribble sort of fasion..
********** If your bullies start being born pregnant THE WORLD IS IN TROUBLE!!!!!
What sort of world bans “caress” regardless of context? I am now going to “caress” some dogs! So sue me!!
************ Yes, that’s pretty much how I feel about it! Let Us Deny That We Are Incarnate which is to say FLESH!!!!!
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HAH! You said the “Fl**sh” word – quick, sirens, klaxons – oh I forgot, we use words to communicate – it’s legal…
Or is it? (cue Twilight zone music…)
[visions of half-blacked-out dictionaries]
And not to forget Fahrenheit 451 . . .
***** And not to forget Fahrenheit 451 . . .
Great book, and not least because the potential for this coming true is so scary…
One of the best scenes IMO in the film Field of Dreams is where the wife stands up to an entire school/town meeting against book banning – I’m right there with her, yelling at the screen :)
YOu must be as much fun to go to films with as I am . . . Hannah spent most of BLUE VELVET saying, shut up, Robin, shut UP Robin!
The worst time was when I went to see Thelma & Louise with a friend – I was so irate at the attempted rape scene near the start, that when they turned the tables I cheered – in a silent cinema – (oops) – and surprisingly enough, that friend has never volunteered to see another film with me,,,
I’m quite quiet and retiring really, she said :)
Oh dear! One of Peter’s and my Bonding Experiences was WALKING OUT of Thelma and Louise after the ‘intelligent’ one left all the MONEY with the DUMB one having it off with the pick up!!!
“One of the best scenes IMO in the film Field of Dreams is where the wife stands up to an entire school/town meeting against book banning – I’m right there with her, yelling at the screen :)”
I LOVE that scene.
An odd question: I have a lot of trouble going to the theatre the past few years. I think it is the smaller rooms that they screen the films in–they all seem so loud and the pictures so LARGE. I can’t cope anymore. I wait now until they come out in DVD so I can watch them at home (and turn down the sound)–or, in extreme cases, I attend the 10:30 am shows where the audience is fewer than 20. Am I alone in this?
I certainly know what you’re talking about. I used to be willing to sit anywhere from about halfway back. Now I’m in the BACK ROW.
***The word “CARESS” is a “no-no word” in the assessment test development world. ***
Wait, what? [blinks in bewilderment]
What word are they planning to substitute, I wonder, and why?
It’s a beautiful passage as is, the words flow perfectly, and it should be left alone.
The world is getting dumber and dumber every day…
It’s a beautiful passage as is, the words flow perfectly, and it should be left alone.
******* well, yes. Good writers . . . write well. Gah.
The world is getting dumber and dumber every day…
******* Yes. Sadly.
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Connie Willis wrote a short story for a collection called 2041, I think – it was a science fiction anthology for teens. It was published back in the early 1990s. In her story (I can’t remember the title! Aarrgghh!), set in a not-too-distant future, a high school group wants to stage a Shakespeare play – Hamlet? – but must run it by someone who must examine the play for any objectionable content. In a hilarious-yet-utterly-painful exchange, more and more lines are cut because they will offend certain groups whose names are laughable (until one thinks a little more about them – yikes!), until all that’s left of the play is just a couple of lines. When I first read this story, I wash chuckling along, then suddenly felt a chill – this kind of politically-correct bowdlerization and censorship was already happening. I finally decided this was a horror story – to me, anyway. But one of the most memorable things I’ve read by Willis, and I love her writing!
Reading this exchange reminds me of the story, and I shudder.
I fyou remember where it is, tell me/us. I want to read it. I like Willis a lot and have read most of her, but I seem to have missed that.
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The story is called “Much Ado About [Censored]” and appears in the anthology 2041: Twelve Short Stories About the Future, edited by Jane Yolen. It was originally published in 1991, the paperback in 1994 (available used at amazon.com). The story is a YA rewrite of “Ado” from Willis’ collection, Impossible Things. I tended to read Willis short stories as I encountered them in the various magazines (such as Analog), and this particular story because I was a YA librarian, enjoy science fiction, and discovered the book on our shelves when I started work at the Hawaii State Library in 1993. I may end up ordering a used copy for my personal collection …
Well I’ve just wasted ten minutes or so trying to get ****ing amazon to talk to me. And failed. At least now I have a title. Grrrr.
I’ve just ordered a copy successfully, so if you want me to send you a copy I can turn around and make it two copies.
WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
Sorry again …
******* The story is called “Much Ado About [Censored]” and appears in the anthology 2041: Twelve Short Stories About the Future, edited by Jane Yolen. It was originally published in 1991, the paperback in 1994 (available used at amazon.com).
I’ve just ordered a copy successfully, so if you want me to send you a copy I can turn around and make it two copies.
The story is titled “Ado” and it appears in Connie’s anthology of her own stories called “Impossible Things”.
I love this story for a couple of reasons. First of all, I love Connie Willis’ work and she’s a nice person to boot. She lives in Greeley, Colorado where I went to college and I used to run into her at the coffee shop and the grocery store; she was always very nice. Second, I really have a problem with a lot of censorship/book banning. In college, students from the theatre department got together and wrote their own short shows based on banned books and performed them during banned book week. One of the shows I acted in was “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silversteen. It was banned, if you can believe it, for being sexist (the female Tree did all the giving and the Boy did all the taking); nevermind the fact that it taught a valuable lesson. The Bible was banned somewhere for its violence and somplace even banned the dictionary for defining offensive words.
If you get a chance to read Connie’s story out of this particular anthology, make sure and read it’s forward which includes a mini rant about book banning (“Little Red Riding Hood” banned because the basket with wine and bread sent the wrong message).
Erika in Colorado
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Well, I wouldn’t ban it, but I loathe The Giving Tree. Enough that Pollyanna is just going to have to live with me for the duration of that remark. And yes, the selfish boy does all the taking and the self-immolating tree does all the giving. It’s not a lesson I want to teach or learn. Sorry. But I still wouldn’t ban it: it makes a great topic for debate. :) I’m under the impression that the Bible is actually one of the *most* banned books.
I had much the same experience reading Fahrenheit 451 just a few years ago (yes, I was already a librarian-in-training and I’d never read it)–in fact, that’s exactly how I phrased it at the time, that I’d class it more as Horror than as Science Fiction. There’s so much, beyond just the denigration of books and intellect, that’s already come true: ‘reality’ TV, everyone plugged into their electronic devices at all times, “the government says this will be a short war….”
I haven’t read that Willis story either, but I found the TOC for the collection (ed. Jane Yolen)…looks like it’s called “Much Ado About [Censored]” and hasn’t been republished in any other collections.
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(yes, I was already a librarian-in-training and I’d never read it)
****** Should you be admitting this in PUBLIC?? :)
–in fact, that’s exactly how I phrased it at the time, that I’d class it more as Horror than as Science Fiction. There’s so much, beyond just the denigration of books and intellect, that’s already come true: ‘reality’ TV,
********* Reality TV scares the **** out of me.
everyone plugged into their electronic devices at all times,
************ This scares me almost as badly
“the government says this will be a short war….”
********** And this is just depressing.
I haven’t read that Willis story either, but I found the TOC for the collection (ed. Jane Yolen)…looks like it’s called “Much Ado About [Censored]” and hasn’t been republished in any other collections.
********* Thank you. And OP, probably.
. . . I’m not finding it on amazon. . . .
********* Reality TV scares the **** out of me.****
Not that it’s actually very REAL, of course, it’s just ghastly.
Well, those are real people, letting themselves be set up to humiliate themselves. That’s real enough for me to run away.
Yes, this is true. Where do they FIND those people? You’d have to be insane to even consider it. Must be the cult of celebrity gone mad.
They must have fits when they go to the supermarket and see all this: http://www.totalbeauty.com/reviews/brands/caress
And they have it right out where CHILDREN can see it! :gasp:
Caress is a no-no word…
*dies*
Well, the excerpt from Peter’s work was lovely, and thank you both for sharing it.
I’m going to go back to being boggled about poor caresses though. I mean, you know when people start complaining about how public schools don’t teach you anything anymore? HERE’S YOUR BED, GUYS!
This is the tip of the iceberg. The Language Police by Diane Ravich ISBN 0- 375-41482-7 published by Knopf in 2003 goes into more detail than you might want to know about. It is one of those yell/weep/laugh all at the same time kind of book.
The author does give glimmers of hope at the end.
The utter nonsense of some of the restriction sisted is truly astounding!
Indeed.
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[rant]This is absolutely ridiculous! I had to read “The Red Pony” in 3rd grade and “The Pearl” in 8th. Parochial school. So we can’t read about sex, but ponies and babies being killed/dying are okay. I could not read Steinbeck until college. Out of all the things he wrote, they had to chose those to introduce kids to “literature” — no wonder some kids are not interested in reading. Maybe that’s why I am not fond of Shakespeare too. Good frickity hampsters on a half-shell![/rant]
Seriously, is this protecting our kids or book burning? *sniffs charcoal-y air*
LOL! Now please read mine on ANONYMOUS. . . .
Yes, I almost said something about ‘but killing animals is okay’. NO IT )(*&^%$£”!!! ISN’T.
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Whoops! Cookies failed me yesterday … sorry! It’s just me again.
Cookies never fail. You must have applied them incorrectly. :)
You’re right! I should have *eaten* them! :D
just who and what are they trying to assess anyway? I guess it can’t be intelligence… ; )
“I was an intransigent brute, however, and refused to let them change ‘witchwoman’–which kept me out of at least one textbook. ”
This reminded me that I wanted to ask you about the term “greenwitch,” which you used in _Rose Daughter_. I’ve seen the term used elsewhere (Susan Cooper’s book of that title, Wiccan websites. . .). I’ve been planning a book about wise women, and I wonder if you borrowed or invented the term for the character. I don’t want to poach someone else’s term, but it seems to say exactly what I want it to mean.
I realize this may not be of general interest, so I understand if you prefer not to post the question.
People can skip. :)
I used it to mean what I wanted it to mean. I’d read Cooper’s GREENWITCH but I wasn’t borrowing particularly–it just ought to mean something like that, yes? As you say.
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…because obviously the mere presence of the word “caress” means there was human/dolphin nookie? *eyeroll*
Parents are insane. They’re so eager to protect little Johnny and Mary (or these days little Braden and Madisyn) that they strip out books for the word rather than the context. A set of parents here lobbied the school board to remove two books that used the n— word. Both of the books were historical novels dealing with slavery and racism as themes, and both used the word in context. But no, out went the books.
human/dolphin nookie
***** SNOOOOORK. Yes, of course!!!
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I have been told by Those Who Know that no degree of sexual innuendo is excessive when applied to male dolphins. Snork indeed! :) But somehow I don’t think the word censors were motivated by considerations of dolphin biology/sociology.
I was under the impression it was ALL dolphins of any gender/persuasion. That that was one of the givens for anyone who was going to work with them. And that they can tell the difference between boys and girls in humans. Which is one of the things that always used to weird me out slightly about stallions flirting with women. I wonder if anyone has ever studied, if studied is the word I mean, homosexuality in, say, dolphins?
****I wonder if anyone has ever studied, if studied is the word I mean, homosexuality in, say, dolphins?****
If I remember, I’ll ask my brother the biologist. He is connected with a big aquarium so might well know.
Oh, yes please!
Urgh. Small minded people. And weak ones who succumb to the importunations of the former.
No, it’s really not that simple. The Rabid Right are *very powerful* in America. Yes, toadying and succumbing happens, but so does ‘needing to earn a living’.
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> No, it’s really not that simple. The Rabid Right are *very powerful* in America. Yes, toadying and succumbing happens, but so does ‘needing to earn a living’.
** You’re right, I do understand that earning a living is important. (Perhaps I worded it wrong. I didn’t mean that Peter was weak for agreeing to the edit.)
I just don’t get how the Rabid Right can have so much power. Doesn’t anyone stand up to them and say “This is stupid. There’s no sexual connotation there whatsoever.”?
Ahem. Your mouth and your common sense are overwhelming your knowledge of the way the world works. And you *do* have the choose your battles. I refused to let them change ‘witchwoman’ and they simply didn’t use the excerpt.
****I just don’t get how the Rabid Right can have so much power.****
Schoolbook publishers–and I suppose school test developers and marketers–gear their offerings to appeal to the biggest market(s), and one of the biggest is Texas. They want products that will be acceptable to all those mostly-conservative school boards, and they aren’t going to produce a different version for every state. This is one reason textbooks are often so bland and boring–less likely to get school board members demanding that some book they find offensive be replaced. And in many parts of the country, very socially-conservative people have made it their business to get onto school boards. How many people actually pay attention to school board elections, or even know anything about the people running?
I’m sorry, I can’t get past the idea that a publisher has an official policy using the phrase “no-no words.” (If that was a paraphrase, I am both relieved, and slightly disappointed…)
Perhaps we should have a contest to suggest alternate words one might substitute into Peter’s unforgivably racy passage.. I nominate “fondle.”
No, that was a quote, but *Elspeth* is being ironic. Elspeth is okay. I have her second to post tomorrow.
Yes, I like ‘fondle’. Peter’s been trying to come up with something that is worse but will get past the censors. :)
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****Yes, I like ‘fondle’. Peter’s been trying to come up with something that is worse but will get past the censors. :)****
LOL!!!!!!! May Peter succeed at this, and p l e a s e let us know what it is. A good laugh is always welcome.
Yes, I like ‘fondle’. Peter’s been trying to come up with something that is worse but will get past the censors. :)
Right on, Peter! Perhaps, since it’s dolphins, it should be “findle.”
And *you* get a clout across the chops with the dunce hat. :)
*snrt!* I won’t deny I deserved it!
Deserved WHAT?
*snrt!* I won’t deny I deserved it!
Deserved WHAT?
Sorry, it was late when I posted, forgot to copy/paste. You’d just bopped me across the chops for making a bad pun. :)
I do suspect and fear (and agree with several other bloggers) that publishers, schools, and nearly everyone have gone stark raving mad. AND dumb. After writing a book for high school students about tattoos, I was told that I couldn’t mention that guys reported that it really hurt to get tattooed on the, umm, male private part. (The book’s readers are old enough to have theirs tattooed, but they can’t READ about it.)
THERE ARE SHAMPOO AND CAR ADVERTS MORE SEXUAL/SUGGESTIVE THAN THAT PASSAGE IN PETER’S BOOK. What do the censors of literature think kids are seeing around them?? Oh, f*ck it all.
When you cross the puritan-police with the political-correctness-police in the U.S., it’s nearly impossible to say anything at all. Or, as my stepson said, at 17, after too many days in an extremely politically correct college town, “Mom, if I had to go to school here I’d club a Native American over the head with a baby seal.”
End of rant.
LOL! I like your stepson a lot! –Yes. I’ve got part two from Elspeth too, which I’ll post tomorrow. Although the Male Private Part reminds me of one of *my* pet rants, about chick lit, which is that while there’s usually lots of tediously explicit sex NO BODY PARTS ARE NAMED, barring breasts. Any reference to ‘his maleness’ or ‘his hardness’ and the book’s bouncing off the opposite wall. This is a big reason I stopped reading Women’s Novels.
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“Any reference to ‘his maleness’ or ‘his hardness’”
My personal favorite is ‘his manhood’–like a p***s is all there is to being a man.
****Any reference to ‘his maleness’ or ‘his hardness’****
A friend once gave me a book by a best-selling author (who shall be nameless, yes Pollyanna) and said it was really a good read. After getting through 3 chapters, each a whole 3 or 4 pages long and filled out with long lists of brand names, I came to a passage where the author used the word “tumescence” with a straight face. That was the end of THAT.
LOL! Yes!
I forgot to say that some of my indignation is caused by my having loved “A Bone in a Dry Sea” for years and years, and they have no business changing a single word.
Yes, well, that’s MY reaction, but Peter just laughs.
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“Caress”. Hmm. What does a mother do to her baby? What do I do to my dogs? Oh, yeah, I forgot — hold philosophical discourses on etymology, of course….
Judith
Hold at arms’ length with tongs? Not me either, honey. :)
(Didn’t you say something about beginning to think about a puppy–?)
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*****(Didn’t you say something about beginning to think about a puppy–?)*****
I did. But not until I’ve settled into the new house. So far we haven’t yet got the stuff done that we need to do to move in — i.e., painting three rooms, making sure the dampness in the basement is under control, etc. No point having the painters move your stuff around. And we haven’t come anywhere near finishing our part of the packing. Did I mention that I have somewhere near 100 boxes of books? And that doesn’t include my husband’s books? Sigh. And the movers will need two weeks’ notice after that…
Then — maybe — I’ll think about starting to look. Housebreaking a pup in the winter is difficult, but I can manage it. My husband has his heart set on another Dane. They’ve bred Danes down to skinny little things these days, but if I can find a breeder of good old-style Danes and find a nice male pup, I’ll probably go with it. I haven’t ruled out a Mastiff puppy, either. And my husband — who once threatened to leave me if I ever got us into a situation with three dogs again — now wants to add an adopted Greyhound to the family as well. I might go with that instead of a puppy first. (No way I’m doing both at the same time!) I’ve never had a sighthound before, so if and when that happens, I’ll be coming to you for advice!
Judith
Well I’m certainly rooting for the retired greyhound. :) Good luck!
****They’ve bred Danes down to skinny little things these days****
Well, actually, they haven’t! Or at least everyone hasn’t. If you’re in the US, I’d suggest going to the Great Dane Club of America web site, finding the address of a Dane club in your area, and contacting them about breeders. Or asking them about Dane rescue. I’m sure there’s a similar option in the UK. But you would probably love a retired Greyhound–everyone I know who’s ever got one wants to go out and get another because they’re such sweet dogs.
As a sighthound fanatic and someone who *almost* adopted a retired greyhound, I should keep my mouth shut. But NOT everyone. And not EVERY retired greyhound is a sweetie. *Most* of them are, true, but . . .
****The word “CARESS” is a “no-no word” in the assessment test development world. ****
An unkind person would say that the assessment development world reads too many bodice-rippers in its spare time and assumes that the students being assessed do, too. But none of us would be unkind, would we?
It’s not the test maker-uppers, it’s all those overheated specialist groups looking over their shoulders. Having been mauled by them a few times myself I’m HAPPY to be unkind . . .
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Mmm…what word would one use instead? Stroke, fondle, rub…are any of these permitted, I wonder?
I’m not getting into the world of permissions for tests (too much like my employment), but I’m interested in Peter’s story about the dolphins helping the people to fish.
There is an amazing story about a pod of orcas (killer whales) that used to herd baleen whales into Twofold Bay in Eden (south coast of NSW, Aust) for the whalers to catch. The orcas got the choice bits, and the whalers got the rest:
http://www.killerwhalemuseum.com.au/oldtom.html
What this article doesn’t spell out is that the main orca, Old Tom, used to tow whale boats around with a rope, and his teeth wore in a particular grove from the rope. It doesn’t show up particularly well in this photo, but is quite clear in the flesh..er..bone.
Much as I disapprove of whaling, I love stories of animal/human interaction like this.
Gosh. Yes. Absolutely. Thank you!
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If it were me….I would invite them to take their business elsewhere. Or pick a different passage. Or something impolite. But then I am famous for intransigence.
As a teacher, it infuriates me when they sanitize and censor textbooks. Teaching history is especially hard – teaching US last year, I found that they left out ALL mention of the birth control pill from 1960s history. Apparently, if it can’t get past the textbook censors in the red states, it can’t get published. Grrr.
But then, I’m one of those teachers who “accidentally” swears and uses big words in my classroom (when appropriate)… I hate talking to teenagers like they are children. Their favorite thing is at the start of the year when I tell them their textbook will lie to them.
I’m amazed you haven’t been fired. Good luck.
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A friend of mine homeschooled her kids (mostly because one of them was a serious competitive figure skater whose schedule was governed by the search for ice time), and I gave her LIES YOUR TEACHER TOLD YOU (shame on me, I forget the author) as a corrective to the standard-issue US history textbooks. I am exceedingly grateful that Sister M.H., my high-school history teacher, eschewed textbooks in favor of real books by historians and original sources. Since she taught in a Catholic high school, she didn’t have to use the watered-down sludge that most public school districts get stuck with.
I don’t know that one. I have a couple of good revisionist American histories for grown ups–very depressing reading.
***”I’m amazed you haven’t been fired. Good luck.”***
Thankfully I’m young enough that my students relate more to me than to the admin (or their parents), and as long as I keep my swearing fairly benign (n “f-bombs”, for example), it passes. Especially since it’s rare.
The thing I’m waiting to get fired for is trashing their textbook – publishers get very tetchy about that, especially historians.
“But then, I’m one of those teachers who “accidentally” swears and uses big words in my classroom (when appropriate)…”
Yay! A sister! I do the same thing at the University–every semester, some of the students look at me as if they would like an exorcist by their side!
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Banned Books week is coming up, perhaps we librarians should band together to protest mutilated excerpts as well. I didn’t think I had any illusions left, but I was unaware that excerpts get edited for language (not being a school or children’s librarian.) In my day we read entire books in school anyway! And NOW I’ve proved myself to be a grumbling cranky librarian, oh dear.
(No ETA on the sequel to Dr. Horrible but I’ll make sure you stay informed!)
***The word “CARESS” is a “no-no word” in the assessment test development world. ***
This overboard over careful ridiculousness reminds me a case I encoountered while taking a college course (centuries ago) in defending banned books: a parent in Ohio wanted to get _My Friend Flicka_ banned from her child’s school library because it had the word ‘dam’ in it. Yes, ‘dam’ as in ‘mother of a horse.’
She apparently could spell and knew what the word meant in context–but was afraid that children wouldn’t.
Thank heavens the book wasn’t about dogs . . .
“a parent in Ohio wanted to get _My Friend Flicka_ banned from her child’s school library because it had the word ‘dam’ in it.”
Or Charlotte’s Web being condemned because there was a death in the story.
*sigh* I teach students who will be elementary teachers and they actually BUY this stuff. I spend most of my classes trying to teach them that though a parent can decide his/her own child’s reading, they can’t decide for everyone in the class.
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And shouldn’t make themselves nuts trying.
Thank heavens the book wasn’t about dogs . . .
Yes. Especially dogs from the 1890s.
Being the secretary for our local Ag show I found some old posters (1889 and the like) and I discovered (errr… was educated) on the *previous* usage of the word “slut”. (And Belle *is* at the moment hahaha)
Learning is fun. :)
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If “Caress” is a no-no word, then what do they call the soap?
SOAP! LOL!
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Our local school board voted to remove a book from all Panama City (FL) public elementary school libraries; it’s a historical novel by Avi, a Newbery Award-winning novel – The Fighting Ground. Some parent complained because several soldier characters in the book used the word “damn” a couple times. What really bothers me – only one school board member bothered to read the book! And she voted to retain it! The others claimed they didn’t have the time to read it, but they couldn’t condone exposing our innocent children to such nasty, horrible language that will scar their little minds (I’m being sarcastic, but that’s essentially their message). I’m going to have to go back and get all the names of the school board members – some of them are up for re-election this year.
Do it. Gods, that’s revolting. Mindless self-righteousness. The worst kind.
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The other commenters have pretty much said what needs to be said on the subject, so I was doubting whether I ought to add anything to it (all the meetings where I wished somebody would just say “I agree with the previous speaker” instead of repeating what had gone before in their own – often lengthier – words!) – but no, I find I must!
It is INSANITY! Pure and simple.
Unfortunately however ridiculous it is, I can’t even be amused by it; to ban “caress” in this context is just silly, but to have a list of pre-disapproved words that are banned irrespective of context is STUPID! To save themselves the inconvenience of actually having to THINK! This really makes me feel – annoyed.
(I love using understatement, but it doesn’t work very well if people don’t know me well enough to realize it IS understatement, so to clarify: annoyed in this case means I would like to punch someone in the eye!)
‘annoyed’ is probably also on the list. :)
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Already been said, but my reaction is similar…
*bash*
*staggers dizzily away from the wall, and goes off to caress the dogs*
Only substitute word I can think of is “stroke,” but I’m missing the point of why They need a substitute word, so I’m eyeing that brick wall again…
-Nema
All this talk about banned books and banned words (Arrghhh) remind me. My mother told me once that her father wouldn’t let her read ‘Gone With the Wind.” Because at the end Rhett says, “I don’t give a damn.” I laughed in a superior fashion; we’ve got much more sophisticated since then.
We haven’t?
I found a brown paper wrapped copy of ‘Forever Amber’ in the very back corner of the highest shelf of the farthest closet when I was a teenager. Of course I read it immediately. She becomes the mistress of a powerful noble and wears a see through dress to a ball. Shocking. Simply shocking.
If I had a book I really didn’t want my teenager to read, I’d hand it to her and say, “HERE! You must READ this!” That would pretty much guarantee its getting dropped into the nearest black hole.
FOREVER AMBER was famous in its day, as I assume you know, as deliberately provocative and SHOCKING.
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