Tea at the Ritz
Yaaaay.*
http://www.theritzlondon.com/tea/index.asp
http://www.theritzlondon.com/pdfmenus/PALM%20COURT%20menu.pdf
And yes, okay, we had the tea and the glass of champagne. Sue us. And the scones–and the clotted cream and the strawberry jam–and the pastries and, oh yes, the little silly sandwiches with the crusts cut off and the delicate perfectly arranged thin layer of filling which is supposed to convince your bemused stomach that it’s being given food.** And we had the Ritz Royal English tea because the London Ritz is The Only Place in the World You Can Get It, so hey. (Also, I love Assam maybe best of all tea and Ceylon second, so double hey.) We swore to each other that we were not going to eat like menopausal women for the evening and we didn’t.*** Merrilee is going to get up early tomorrow morning and run laps around Hyde Park before she catches her plane home and I am going to give hellhounds an extra long walk.† Every day for the next month.
But the whole experience is such a rush. There are like six strapping young men in fancy-hotel uniform opening doors for you–all those superfluous doors exist specifically to lay on extra strapping young men in uniform††–just to get in to have your tea. And it’s all murals and gilt and floral arrangements the size of the Eiffel Tower everywhere you look. And the guys in the tailcoats††† that bring you your silver teapots and your silver tiered tea trays call you modom and do everything with a flourish and at one-and-a-half speed. If they were horses they’d all be prancing Hackneys.‡
And furthermore, because Merrilee is the best agent anyone ever had‡‡, she had scarfed me an advance galley of Neil Gaiman’s new book. I had brought the proofs for the paperback DRAGONHAVEN to read on the train . . . but on the way home I read The Graveyard Book instead. It is soooo wonderful. I have to go to bed now so I can read some more. . . .
* * *
* Well. Till I got home again. So, hellhounds have been pretty stable for a fortnight or so. I do not say that we do not have to go through The Ritual every meal^, but, as hellhounds go, they’ve been relatively stable.
So, this morning, Chaos has diarrhea. For the first time in two or three weeks. And getting lunch into him was one of our Epics.
And, you know what? I’m going to London anyway. I’m going to see Merrilee. And I do. And it was lovely. Till I got home and Chaos hadn’t touched his supper. Which means that tomorrow he’ll be fully into Living in Outer Space mode and I’ll need fancy NASA space-station billions-of-the-taxpayers’-money equipment to fetch him back again and my budget is more of the tinfoil hats to keep the alien rays out of your brain type. You know, I can’t stay home for the next fifteen years. I really can’t. Can I?
^ That’s every meal. That’s every, every meal. Every meal.
** Vegetables? You mean those green specks on the egg salad and the even thinner layer than other layers of cucumber, indeed the paper thin layer of cucumber, which is obviously to show off the chef’s hand on a kitchen mandolin, in a few of the sandwiches? And the cucumber sandwiches also have cream cheese in them. More cream cheese than cucumber in fact, which is not necessarily saying a lot. But they are very pretty.
*** Chocolate mousse! Itty bitty napoleon! Little bombe-shaped thingummy stuffed with caramel! Several varieties of fruit tart with custard and/or sugar glazes a quarter inch thick! More scones! More clotted cream! I’ve had my serious dairy ingestion bacchanal for the year! And will probably be paying for it for weeks! I don’t care! I had Tea at the Ritz!^
^ Fate cannot harm me, I have dined today.
Sydney Smith
† In the vain hope of giving Chaos an appetite for lunch. Sigh.
†† Merrilee and I both thought there were unusual numbers of the door opening brigade even for the Ritz and that a lot of them seemed to be wearing wires, so maybe there was Someone Really Famous staying. If there was, we didn’t see them. Or maybe we just didn’t recognise them. ^
^ Colin Firth went to school in Winchester and there’s a rumour he’s bought a house around there somewhere. I never saw Pride and Prejudice. I never saw Bridget Jones. I’ve read both of them.
††† White. I think they’re black in winter, but I don’t actually go there often enough to have a mind for detail.^ I am too busy being dazzled.
^ Which is a good thing. Neither my wallet+ nor my waistline could stand it.
+ Although Merrilee won the arm wrestle and paid this one. Well, I was weakened by an encounter in Green Park, around which I was strolling because I arrived early. And a group of Young British People came up to me and asked politely if I knew where you got the boats. You mean like the Serpentine? That’s in Hyde Park. You go that way. –I told you I have that kind of face. And I laughed all the way back to the Ritz.
‡ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hackney_(horse) : ‘. . . In motion, they are recognizable by their showiness and style, with distinctive high knee and hock action due to very good flexion of their joints. They have a distinct moment of suspension, and reach out their front legs from their shoulders with each stride. Their hind legs’ flexibility allow those legs to rise up, bending the hock, and reach forward to carry the weight of the body during each stride. This distinctively spectacular movement makes the horse seem to float effortlessly over the ground. . . . ‘
‡‡ We were actually talking about The Tour Thing. Merrilee figured she could get away with this during tea at the Ritz when I probably won’t hide under the table because I might miss something. That was, however, before I got home and discovered Chaos hadn’t eaten supper. He has my best interests at heart, really he does. I don’t like touring.
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(I knew if I just pushed refresh enough and read the random quotes to entertain me in the meantime, you’d update. Woo hoo! Plus, it’s late! *tells Peter on Robin, nyah nyah* ;)
Oooooohhhhhhhh.
Doors! With strapping young men to hold them open for you! Tea in silver pots! That sounds like something that doesn’t actually happen anymore, just on old TV shows. But I guess England IS half-magical. *yearny sigh*
It sounds like you had a *wonderful* time. Yay!
But Chaos! Dear Chaos, you must eat your supper. *sends hugs to the hellhounds*
Plus, it’s late! *tells Peter on Robin, nyah nyah* ;)
*********** Do that, my girl, and your ferrets are HISTORY. [Seven [[er--is it seven?]] ferrets KIDNAPPED! Film at 11!]
Doors! With strapping young men to hold them open for you! Tea in silver pots! That sounds like something that doesn’t actually happen anymore, just on old TV shows.
*********** The Ritz counts on this attitude. There’s no OTHER reason anyone would pay those prices for health-damaging non-food. :)
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Do that, my girl, and your ferrets are HISTORY. [Seven [[er–is it seven?]] ferrets KIDNAPPED! Film at 11!]
MEEP! I’m behaving! I’m behaving! Look, see — *straightens halo* — I’m behaving!
(Yes, seven. (!!))
Right. You could get a better *polish* on that halo. :)
Right. You could get a better *polish* on that halo. :)
Too many fingerprints from having to straighten it all the time. The darn thing doesn’t fit right!
Now why would *that* be?
[hums an innocent tune]
The person I took it from had a big head.
*whistles*
LOL! No wonder it doesn’t fit! It got BENT!
I hope you hum better than you sing.
Could the hellhounds tour with you?
Ha. Well, only in England. :) I can just IMAGINE what Chaos would have to say about Eating in Strange Hotel Rooms. I did take Rowan (my first whippet) with me to a few book conventions in America.
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Tea at the Ritz (you have me looking at booking) and an early read of the Graveyard book! Even Chaos with eating disorder (which even you admit suits you in some tiny corner because it excuses you from touring – I’m not one to encourage you to tour myself: nobody ever tours in Greece) is not enough. YOU ARE RUBBING OUR NOSES IN THIS.
I will repost that the hibiscus is doing very well – the one that almost died in the frost – loving the overwhelming heat, and covered with buds. And the fruit is all delicious this season (please note the childish so there tone).
On a serious note, I hope your presence calms Chaos altogether and he wakes up hungry tomorrow.
Oh, well . . . tea at the Ritz, you know? Who *couldn’t* gloat? If you can’t gloat about that . . . well, you’re too wealthy and you have too much time on your hands! :)
Yes, bloody Chaos deigned to have a few mouthfuls upon my safe return. OH GODS. He’ll still be all hinky tomorrow though. ***OH GODS***
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I have to say, it makes me smile when young men open doors for me–especially when they aren’t paid to do so.
Slightly depends on how old *you* are. :)
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Well, after the first few millenia I started to lose track. Sorry about that.
I found a quote you might like:
“The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there’s no law against wacking them around a little.”
-Joe Martin
LOL! Well yes but it’s your *wallet* that will be screaming . . .
No, there’s nothing in there to scream.
;)
Well I’m still trying to get an ATTIC FLOOR BUILT!!!!!
Ouch. My sympathies. Be glad it’s not a kitchen. Or wait, is it OVER a kitchen? Maybe that would be bad too. But you have THREE kitchens. And when construction is going on you can just avoid your house completely and not have to go to a hotel! Face it, you’re lucky. Too bad for you.
When my daughters were small my sister and I took them to tea at the Ritz in Boston. We started with a walk across the Gardens and feeding the ducks, then tea, and finished off with a peek at the bar and the mural with the leprechauns to find. We only did that trip a few times. As they got older there was a teahouse north of Boston which had the merit of being across the common from a doll museum. I have raised daughters who look for teahouses and take small children out for tea as a treat.
Very well done you! –I had Eggs Benedict at the Boston Ritz once, and almost died of pleasure. :) There are rather too many CALORIC ways to my heart, not all of them chocolate. Although that was long ago, in the days when I still had a METABOLISM.
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Oh that sounds like so much fun! I was given a voucher for a verrry posh “Chocolate Afternoon Tea” at a 5 Star Hotel in Melbourne and I am ashamed to admit that I could *not* eat the value of it. Dang. My sugar-load-meter just hit “full” waaaay to early!
Thought of you when I spotted a pair of gumboots in a posh Melbourne store yesterday. They were decorated. Prints of CHOCOLATES on them. Yep. Chocolates.
Gah. I dunno, I may draw the line . . . I’m still hoping to put a fork through one of my wellies (if I could figure out how to do with without getting my FOOT too) so I’d have the excuse to buy a pair with ROSES on it.
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Please note that I didn’t say they looked *fabulous*. They actually looked *odd* (and of course if you actually use such an item in the *mud* they may look even *odder*). hehe
Am preparing the garden for the new rose orders that should arrive next month. Having being inspired (/corrupted) by this blog it shall be called The McKinley Rose Bed. So far I have only dug about 20 holes. Eeeep.
Only twenty holes *so far*! This is going to be an EXCELLENT McKinley Rose Bed! I’m extremely gratified! :)
LOL I thought you may be. ;)
I still need to order Dainty Bess and Mutabilis though. I got scared by the lack of bank account….. ahem……
Almost mid-winter for us here. My roses are still flowering because it is so mild this year. Fresh buds etc on Souvenir too. Too weird. Not sure when I will get to prune!!
The next time I am in London, I must do Tea at the Ritz. Strapping men, champagne, chocolate mousse, Oh My!
**I never saw Pride and Prejudice. I never saw Bridget Jones. I’ve read both
of them.**
I don’t recommend watching Bridget Jones, but the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice is an amazing adaptation.
I also recommend the BBC’s North and South (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417349/) and Bleak House (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0442632/). They are two of my favorite books. Usually movies are so much worse than the books, but these adaptations were beautiful. I have to admire the way the BBC did them.
I saw about the first half of Bleak House and . . . I can see they were doing their best but I just can’t keep the momentum for a TV show. I loved the book too–and North and South, which I don’t remember even noticing on TV.
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Wow… I’m not sure whether I’m more jealous of the fabulous Ritz Tea or the advance copy of The Graveyard Book!
And isn’t it just like dogs/kids — you have a nice day out scheduled and someone always gets sick or won’t eat or . . .
Oh, YUM! The tea, the dishes, the strapping young men!!!!
Two thoughts spring to mind: 1) What did you wear? and 2) the tea list reminded me of Damar.
(PS: I think I would have ordered the Rose Congou. I had high tea at the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong in 1997. I used money given to me by a manager I hated to enjoy all that wonderful goodness – yow!)
1) What did you wear?
********** LOL! A woman ( . . . well, okay, I *assume*) after my own heart. See today’s entry. I LOVE excuses for dressing up.
and 2) the tea list reminded me of Damar.
********* It DOES?!
(PS: I think I would have ordered the Rose Congou.
******** If I had tea at the Ritz *oftener* (coughcoughcoughcoughCOUGH) I would work my way through the entire list. But their special unique house blend is just right up my street.
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Sorry to hear about Chaos’ diarrhea. Has your vet returned from his holiday so you can get started on the anti-bug treatment?
I’m sure you are right about whether your hellhounds would eat in hotel rooms. My really bad eater Alba was a bad eater squared in hotels, and made it worse by dropping food on the floor while not eating it. She didn’t like much else about hotels, either. Although she did better than the one I had who didn’t think strange grass was an acceptable bathroom and wanted to wait until she got home to do anything . . .
You asked if we are first in line for a boy puppy. Yes, from Sister’s litter, so it’s a good job there is one. Since the Alpha Bitch considers herself queen of the world, I wouldn’t want to bring another girl home–if she too wanted to be queen, I would have blood.
Your tea at the Ritz sounds lovely and worth every calorie. I would have gluttonized over the scones and strawberries and cream. (Did they have fresh berries for you?) Our strawberries are just coming in and I have been giving serious thought to saying dinner = strawberry shortcake sometime in the immediate future; your description might push me over the edge.
YES the vet is back. He got back Wednesday, but since I had Wednesday Friend followed by tea at the Ritz on Thursday I decided that in case of accidents I would begin *today.*
Well you may have blood anyway, as you know, but perhaps if she gets to whip him into line while he’s little . . .
dinner = strawberry shortcake
********* LOL! I thought only I did things like that! Go for it!
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I envy you your tea. It sounds fabulous. And if it makes you feel better, there are fellow dog-feeding-sufferers. My parents used to have to spoon-feed their last dog to get him to eat.
And the Colin Firth/ Jennifer Ehle Pride and Prejudice is quite good (meaning, almost exactly like the book). And the clothes are GORGEOUS. Of course, not everyone is insanely obsessive about persiod costume…
Please forgive all typos on basis of two hours’ sleep.
I’m still RESISTING the handfeeding drill because once you go there you never come back. But I sure chase him/them around a lot.
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“I’ve had my serious dairy ingestion bacchanal for the year! ”
Ah, well, in that case perhaps you could just close your eyes for a moment? I meant to post the recipe below a few days ago but then got overwhelmed by trains…:) Perhaps the 2nd (non-dairy version) would be OK for you?
I’m so glad that you and Merrilee had such a gloriously indulgent occasion and were able to do it full justice.
Cheat’s Dinner Party Dessert (or Pudding)
Serves 6 – 8
Dairy Version
1 and a half pints (UK pint = 20 fl oz) cream. Anywhere from 38 – 45% fat is fine, so long as it will whip to a fairly stiff consistency
1/4 pt of either sweetish sherry (I use Amontillado), or dark rum, or perhaps a fruity brandy, in a small shallow bowl#
Either a packet of good quality cookies, or a to-hand batch of one’s own cookie baking. Choc chip is good, or with nuts, probably best to avoid any with dried fruit.
2 oz good dark choc chips or grated choc for decoration
NB Make this 24 hours BEFORE it is going to be served.
Whip the cream in a large bowl until it is just after the ‘leaving a trail’ stage – you need it reasonably stiff. Starting with a 1″ bottom layer of the whipped cream (in the bowl you will be serving from at the table), quickly dunk sufficient cookies, one at a time, in the sherry/rum/brandy/whatever and use to form a complete but not overlapping layer on top of the cream. Repeat to use all ingredients (I generally get three layers of cream and two of cookies, depending on the shape of the serving bowl), finishing with a cream layer. Cover top of the bowl with clingfilm (making sure not to let it touch the cream) and put in the top of the fridge until an hour or so before serving. Remove from fridge and decorate with choc shavings or chips.
The moisture from the cream + the alcohol makes everything meld together and appear more complicated to make than it is. :)
I have made this slightly less heavy on occasion by folding two stiffly whipped egg whites into the whipped cream, in which case one needs about 25% less cream. However that extra stage does make it a bit less of a ‘cheat’ dessert.
# any liquid left in the bowl after dipping all the cookies is cook’s perks!
However, for those whose digestions are not able to tolerate all that cream, this has also been very well-received:
Non-Dairy Version
Cookies as above (ginger ones are good for this, too)
Sherry/rum/whatever as above
Dark choc for decoration as above
3 large (14 oz each) tins pear halves (in juice, not syrup) + 2 tsp lemon juice
3 rounded tsps arrowroot, or cornflour if no arrowroot
Make around 4 – 6 hours ahead of serving
Purée/liquidise the pears together with about 1/4 pt of the juice. Pour results into a small saucepan, add arrowroot and heat, stirring gently, until thickened*. Allow to cool till no more than tepid. Then just follow the assembly instructions above, replacing the cream layers with thickened pear purée ones. Because this is a wetter mixture than the dairy version, it’s best not to make it the day before but it does need a few hours to join together.
* If using arrowroot, take off the heat as soon as thickened or it will start to get thinner again – as the Wikipedia entry says: “Arrowroot thickens at a lower temperature than does flour or cornstarch. It is recommended to mix arrowroot with a cool liquid before adding to a hot fluid. The mixture should be heated only until mixture thickens and removed immediately to prevent mixture from thinning. Overheating tends to break down arrowroot’s thickening property. Substitute two teaspoons of arrowroot for one tablespoon of cornstarch”
I am ridiculously jealous that you have the Graveyard Book. And you got to have tea at the Ritz. Especially since I just discovered how delicious tea is.
Is there any chance the tour will being you to New England? You could promise to be very good on teh tour if they let you bring the hellhounds. And the ehllhounds are so adorable, who could say no?
There’s no nontraumatic way to get them across the Atlantic. Believe me I’ve *thought* about this. I have a friend with a farm in the midwest that the hellhounds would *love*.
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Yes, I am definitely female!
re: tea list/Damar — First, I make odd associations between things. Can’t always explain why, but I get them nice & strong.
* Reading the Assam Leaf tea description reminded me strongly of the beginning of The Blue Sword, when Harry first gets to the outpost and her first impressions of Damar.
* Ceylon Orange Pekoe made me think of the Hill Peoples’ eyes.
* Darjeeling First Flush? Well, The Gift. And that very cool courtyard Corlath’s father had built for his mother.
* Ritz Royal English: Hetta in “A Pool in the Desert”
I am rather geeky too, but I like it. It’s fun. It’s a shame I’m not in school — it would be a fun term paper to explain the associations.
Yes. Geeks Unite. I’m there. :)
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AJLR, I love you, and Mr. Lissar is going to love you, too. A dessert made out of cookies, whipped cream, and booze. Okay, so’s tiramisu, but this one is easy.
Hope you enjoy it. It’s also nice if you make it with lemon cookies and with a few drops of lemon oil added into the whipped cream. (Can you tell I’ve been musing over Robin’s Lemon Bars…?) :)
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Chocolate mousse! Itty bitty napoleon! Little bombe-shaped thingummy stuffed with caramel! Several varieties of fruit tart with custard and/or sugar glazes a quarter inch thick! More scones! More clotted cream!
As I read this entry, I’m eating my lunch of spring mix greens salad, can of tuna and my own Best Dressing in the World (1/3 Bragg’s raw apple cider vinegar, 2/3 Udo’s 3.6.9 oil blend, large clove of garlic crushed, and Bavarian seasoning mix from Penzey’s spices).
I gained 10 pounds vicariously ANYWAY!
:-)
Smiles,
JM in KC
Yes, well, last two days I’m eating almost more salad than *I* can stand. . . . :)
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I saw you at the Newbury award ceremony … I had forgotten the black lace gloves, but the topaz on the forehead is embedded in my memory forever.
After that I came to the conclusion that I can not predict what an author will look like/dress like based on the evidence in his/her books.
Another case in point … Peter was dressed in work shorts, a tee shirt, and hiking boots when he spoke to CLNE in Cambridge (UK) … said he had forgotten the talk and had been mowing the lawn.
I was using the former bedroom of a very well read, artistically gifted Harvard grad this weekend, and she had a lovely collection of Peter’s books, including one (The Gift) which I hadn’t encountered before. I think I owe her a thank you, as she had tidied the room more than it had ever been before (according to her mother and aunt), so I think I’ll send her one of your books. Spindle’s End I think, given her passion for sculpting small furry creatures.
Small world, this.