The Training of Hellhounds
Hellhounds throw up kind of a lot.* I have newspaper, pre-divided up into several-sheet wodges, tucked here and there all over the house, like small instant-response SAS units in dangerous territory.** This would not be a big deal in the kitchen which has a nice washable lino*** floor except that for reasons which escape me they prefer to run into their crate and throw up there.† Aaaaaugh. Explosively hairy blankets draped over the Aga railing again, handfuls of dog hair to be clawed out of the washing machine’s filter again. . . . So if a heaving hellhound races for the crate, I race in right after him. It’s a tight fit, three of us in the crate, but it can be done. I then drag him out again, trap him between my legs, and present his business end with my nearest flat, smudgy SAS unit.
For some reason best known to one of fate’s obscurer minions, this happens more often outside (good) or upstairs (bad). So I think it’s taken them a little while to begin to notice that if they try to throw up in their crate, if I’m around I will get in the way.†† Darkness who far and spectacularly away is the more trainable of my brace of hellhounds††† threw up Sunday morning. I hauled him out of the crate, trapped him between my legs, laid the newspaper down, put my hands around his head and aimed. After he’d finished the dread deed and I let go he turned his head around and looked at me thoughtfully.
A hellhound tends to throw up in pairs. But I couldn’t hang around; I had to go ring bells.
When I came back there was a tidy little puddle of bile on the kitchen floor. I wonder if I left some newspaper down next time–?
* * *
* I am hoping that this is one of the things that will get sorted when they get sorted. Yes, we’ve had the lab report. Yes, we’ve been given another alley to pelt down, and please the gods this will not be another blind one. Almost everything came up normal . . . but Darkness’ registered the presence of campylobacter ^ which the vet says is a particularly nasty and persistent infection, if one has it they both have it, and it could explain everything. It also ‘sheds’ erratically which is why it can show up in only one dog–and why it didn’t show up when Chaos had a crap test last December when he was so sick.
The vet gave me the news and promptly left the country. Well, okay, it was a planned trip. But I am at this point as jumpy as a horse seeing tigers in the shrubbery, hellhounds are–for them–pretty stable on their most recent homeopathic remedy, and I’m waiting till the vet gets back to start them on the new treatment. I don’t want to deal with any side effects alone. I ran to the end of my coping mechanisms a couple of months ago and am now officially a small damp whimpering blob of abraded nerve endings.
^ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campylobacter
** Rather flat, smudgy SAS units. Never mind.
*** Except we’re not supposed to call in lino any more. Vinyl? I think maybe you’re supposed to call it vinyl. My kitchen floor is actually a very pretty mottled grey and fawn fake tile, as if I was having a premonition, when I had it put in four years ago, that I would shortly take possession of one grey and one fawn Hellhound, subdivision Hair Factory.
† I’d be grateful if they’d do this upstairs, which has fitted^ carpet. No, no, upstairs they leap out of their bed to throw up . . . frantically trying to elude me while I frantically try to capture them. One of their best tricks is that you’ve finally got the little turnipbrain wedged in a corner–the hellhounds’ one advantage in this regard is that they heave longer than previous generations; if you’re paying attention, you do have time to get in position–with a newspaper perfectly arranged under his nose . . . and at the LAST MINUTE he jerks his head to one side because of course it would be RUDE to throw up on something the Hellgoddess is holding.
^ wall to wall
†† Hellhounds are notable for drawing wrong conclusions however. Their most disgusting habit, in my opinion, is that they like to lick other dogs’ pee and then chunter along with their jaws shivering and clattering together, drooling. Great big yuck. I assume this has something to do with being entire males–I do girls! I don’t do boys! None of my girls ever had this yucky-even-for-dogs practise!–but I don’t want to know. I have been trying to discourage it, and have been even more assiduous in my aversion technique while they were under the ruling of pancreatic insufficiency, now (probably) outmoded, thinking that the endocrine system is the endocrine system, and the wonky pancreas may be connected to an unsavoury enjoyment of dog pee. What they’ve learnt, however, is not to eschew the pee, but to trot up to me (jaws chattering and drool streaming) and put their nose in my hand, so I can close the miscreant mouth–thus preventing the chattering and mysteriously it also seems to stop the drooling–and say No. For all I know this enhances the experience. Gah.
††† I will tell you the Spanish Walk Follies some other day.
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Laughing…sympathetically, of course.
I hope they are learning, though. Would be nice. The ferrets seem to be doing better with their, er, habits lately, too. Maybe there’s some sort of hellhound/ferret telepathic link going on here.
So THAT’S why hellhounds are wasting more of my time recently insisting on PLAYING. Go away! I’m DOING STUFF! That’s why there’s TWO of you!
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Hahahahaha! Sorry! Hahahaha!
Yes, three in a crate – I’ve got trapped in a crate with a bully when she (it was Yeti of course) couldn’t go forwards and wouldn’t go back, and so I couldn’t go anywhere… it seemed a good idea to go in the crate, but Yeti wanted to help and needed to be right on top of me to do it… only took a couple odf days for my back to get sorted, and everyone who asked how I hurt it went from sympathy to hysterical laughter in 0.0005 seconds…
glad the campylobacter revealed itself – it’s great at hiding out and I’ve known excellent treatment results so fingers toes & paws crossed for you. (How could he go on a holiday? Btw, what IS a holiday? [I have dogs!])
Ah, do you have any True Tales of Campy? One of the things I don’t understand is how they picked it up–dogs go around cruising for loathsomeness just as part of being DOGS. And if they have it, why don’t I? (Um . . . ) Sure, I wash the dishes, but I do the dishes ALL TOGETHER.
Btw, what IS a holiday? [I have dogs!])
********* Yes! My feeling EXACTLY! –He has dogs too but they’re WORKING dogs and they live in KENNELS. Feh.
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My friend has (breeding not boarding) kennels and most of her dogs went down with awful D & V which was eventually traced to Campy. It took awhile to diagnose, and tho it didn’t go quietly, it DID go, and hasn’t come back Yay!
Campo is horrid but I think that the diagnosis is very good news. Hugs and plenty of spare newspaper if you run short :)
Was it just heavy artillery antibiotics that got rid of it, or something else?
>>And if they have it, why don’t I? (Um . . . )
Of course you *could* have it. And the ME has it backed into the corner with an evil glance just so it knows *who is boss*. :p lol
And even if you keep all their stuff clean they still lick *each other*. This may be a case where you have to hit it with antibiotics. Of course they would need immune support with the Homeopathy at the same time. My mum only uses homeopathy but she did have a bad tooth infection at one stage where the homeopath *told her* to take antibiotics *and* homeopathics to get back to “level playing field”. She struggles with her sugar intake (ie. nearly zero) and candida a lot. She had a bad spell last year when even fruit set her off. She develops symptoms quite similar to ME (and she totally sympathises with you). She hasn’t been able to eat chocolate for years.
And even if you keep all their stuff clean they still lick *each other*.
******** Yes. it’s not a question that they BOTH have it. My homeopathic vet says we may have to go to antibiotics, but we’ll try the nosode first.
****No chocolate.**** Oh dear. I know this happens to some unfortunate people . . .
******** Was it just heavy artillery antibiotics that got rid of it, or something else?
I spoke to my favourite vet nurse today, and she said the specifically appropriate antibiotics kill it stone dead. Apparently it’s becoming more common but no one seems to know why…
and that teeth chattering thing? – very common with entire male dogs; I think of it like equine flehmen, a way of getting the most out of the scent. It does seem to make dogs drool, but I’m not sure if the chittering or the scent/hormonal message causes that.
Apparently it’s becoming more common but no one seems to know why…
******** Well, the usual suspects! Too many inappropriate antibiotics and too many suppressed immune systems!
and that teeth chattering thing? – very common with entire male dogs; I think of it like equine flehmen,
******** Okay, then it IS common? And I’ve known mares who do the stallion lip curl, like I’ve known bitches (like my Holly) who mark and cover other dogs’ pee. She didn’t chatter and drool though.
******** like I’ve known bitches (like my Holly) who mark and cover other dogs’ pee.
Just mentioned this to a friend today whose bitch will cock a leg and mark other dogs’ pee. My first bully also did this – I think this is more about communication through behaviour than through hormonal messages (some say the D word, some say self-reassurance…)
Holly used to stand on her front legs to pee as HIGH as possible. :)
On the need for “rather flat, smudgy SAS units” ….. ick :(
On the fact that The Enemy now has a Name:…. phew!
On the issue of your vet leaving the country leaving you outstretched with the above-mentioned-SAS unit: Grrrrrr
On the subject of dog training…… sounds like the training to puke neatly on the SAS unit needs more work … ;)
::hugs::
Ew! Although at least you do have a viable candidate for a cause, after your dedicated stakeout. One of the things I most hated about the one-after-the-other-sick-and-dying-birds in my aviary was negative (and expensive) test reports. Yes, it’s all very well that they don’t have [insert name of nasty stuff], but what DO they have?
I’m particularly sympathetic about the erratic shedding thing. Our central (and only) heating system is erratically dysfunctional. It doesn’t like working on cold, wet and windy days. It fails to start, stops working after it starts, and pumps gas through the house. Of course, in the presence of a heating professional it started and worked perfectly. Gah.
Yes, it’s all very well that they don’t have [insert name of nasty stuff], but what DO they have?
******** Yes. Exactly. And you start losing your will to live, never mind your remaining nerve, in the process.
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Have you thought about covering every flat surface in your house with newspaper? It would be slippery, but it might work. If you could get enough newspaper. And then they’d find surfaces NOT covered in newspaper (walls) to soil.
Just after I read this post, Mean Cat hurfed up a particularly awful hairball. Two, actually. Apparently she has sympathy for your hounds. It’s more than she has for me…
Yes but did she do it on a CARPET?
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Nope. Hardwood all round here, except for the throw rugs in the bathroom and the big rag rug in the living room. Well, no, I do have wall to wall in the den downstairs, but it’s such a mess I’m never in it these days. This will change, someday I will clean it. And then god knows how many hairballs I’ll find…
Yes, the important question is not how often YOU are downstairs but how often your HELLCRITTERS are.
I’m so sorry the hellhounds are worse – and am hoping they will get better with the new treatment and that it won’t have any side-effects worthy of the name (and of course it was mean and inconsiderate of the vet to go away – I don’t believe in always being reasonable…)
It’s an odd thing though – Sassi seems to prefer throwing up on carpets, too. Somehow I have the feeling it is in some kind of spirit of – tidiness. (And no, I can’t explain, even to myself, what I mean or why I think it.)
LOLOL – one of my cats got giardia as a kitten, here is my LJ post about it from Feb last year:
Sky has had problems with ongoing diarrohea since I got him but its not been serious, more troubling. Playing with his diet hasnt worked. Today I woke up to liquid green piles of poo on the carpet and on his bottom.
After work I took him to the vet, where with the miracles of modern science, they tested the fresh poo sample I bought in (yay for reading google) and got a positive for Giardia of all things!
$130 something later I have one healthy and one not healthy kitten, both of whom have been wormed, and deflea’d and given a pill and a dose of liquid something, with a weeks supply of the last two.
Lock Sky in the bathroom while I clean his bottom again, and am doing my best to sterilise his toilet box (its a big plastic tray fortunately) What I dont realise is he pooed on the bath mat while I was doing this and I didnt notice and stood in it.
Now I have thrown out the bathmat, washed my shoe and the floor and the bath. Im not finished yet, I still have to wash the lino in their room as well.
Both boys are in the bathroom for the near future (if you keep them apart they both whinge about it, but are quiet together. Taz has helpfully eaten all of Skys special food the vet also provided.
I have boiled water to put down, and stored more in a sterilzed jar in the fridge.
The good news is the last lot of poo was brown and not black/green liquorice coloured like this morning, but hes not a happy boy. Weighing in at 2.4KG and Taz at 2KG – not bad for 4 months old either!
and the next day…He is no longer listless, uninterested in food and randomly excreting liquid in all directions.
This morning he was awake, alert, squeaking for attention, wanting and eating food, and his bottom is much cleaner, and generally much improved.
Still doing toxic farts tho LOL
I, however, am a complete mess :) I was up late last night cleaning and stuff, and worrying about him being sick etc. Got up a few times in the night to check on him and about 3 am moved them to their room when Sky proved to no longer be exploding out his bottom in an uncontrolled manner. This meant Binky could have a shower etc in relative peace.
I had already called work to let them know I might not be in. I decided to sleep in and go in late. Got there about 11ish and only did a couple of hours because I started to feel blurgh. Quite possibly due to the stress and lack of sleep – which was enuf in an of itself.
So I came home, attended to the boys, let them outside, and tried to get some more sleep. Napped for a couple of hours but still feel totally zonked :(
*snip*
So yes, I feel your pain about animals with randomly excreting body fluids, mine was only for a few days and that was stressful enuf!
Indeed. Yours looks very familiar, except that this has been going on cyclically for the last year and nine months in our case. And my boys–FORTUNATELY–are, given the immediacy with which my feet hit the floor and I bolt downstairs to let them out at 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 am, continent.
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My dogs all WANT to throw up on carpet, even though I have lots of easy-to-clean tile floors in this house. They absolutely do not want to be dragged or shoved from the chosen piece of carpet to the nearest available hard floor. Thank God, crates aren’t an option.
I’ve had two intact males, and while they were profoundly interested in smelling and then covering other dogs’ pee, they never (as far as I could tell) wanted to taste it. Aaaarrrgh.
Hope the campylobacter treatment, once it starts, is blindingly successful.
My dogs all WANT to throw up on carpet, even though I have lots of easy-to-clean tile floors in this house. They absolutely do not want to be dragged or shoved from the chosen piece of carpet to the nearest available hard floor.
********* Yes, what is THAT about? Splashes?
Thank God, crates aren’t an option.
I’ve had two intact males, and while they were profoundly interested in smelling and then covering other dogs’ pee, they never (as far as I could tell) wanted to taste it. Aaaarrrgh.
******** Rats. I was hoping I’d be overwhelmed by comments from people whose intact males do the same thing.
Hope the campylobacter treatment, once it starts, is blindingly successful.
******** Well maybe not *blindingly.* How about ‘murderously’? :)
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Maybe carpet is like grass. As in housebreaking woes, when they of course ignore the hard floor in favor of the carpet. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know what they think?
Yes! They stand at the EDGE of the floor, and–!
“I have newspaper, pre-divided up into several-sheet wodges, tucked here and there all over the house, like small instant-response SAS units in dangerous territory.** ”
It’s a good job, isn’t it, that we’re fond of reading newspapers. What would be used for frequently hiccuping pets if they weren’t around? I live in hope that one day Tabbs will be so interested in an article in a newspaper I thrust under her at such moments that she will be distracted from the barfing process…:) And I notice from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Air_Service that one of the SAS functions is “Battlespace preparation by sabotage and offensive raiding in the medium and deep battlespace.”. That sounds to me a pretty accurate description of deep-crate wrestling with hellhounds.
Anyway, very glad to hear that the hellhounds may soon be freed from their instestinal problems. Fingers crossed all round.
That sounds to me a pretty accurate description of deep-crate wrestling with hellhounds.
********* ***Snork.***
I think ‘soon’ is probably over optimistic. The vet said campy is a nasty one to get rid of. But I hope we’re finally on the right ROAD. That this is the way OUT.
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Ahh, hellhounds sound like cats. I have hardwood floors and a linoleum, vinyl?? kitchen. Easy things to spills up from. Yet, they only throw up on rugs.
Ohh. The small pile of bile in the middle of the tile… made me smile… for a while… although the thought is vile.
Good luck on the paper-training of the other end of the dogs(: I like that he looked up at you thoughtfully. That’s really funny!
And hooray for modern medicine. ‘Tis good.
We live in hope . . .
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The nasty, nasty pee thing isn’t limited to whole male dogs, in my experience. I had contemplated the notion that my pup (3-year old neutered greyhound) did it because he is going blind and just got more *into* smells than my previous hound, but I guess not.
Ugh. Well, at least *somebody* else has a dog that does it. It wasn’t totally news to the vet either but I didn’t ask how common it was. Why is your poor beast going blind?
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