Crabby person on blogging
Peter passed this–in newspaper form–to me*, saying, do you want to read this? The headline howls: BLOGGERS WHO BARE ALL ABOUT THEIR LIVES NOW FACE A BRUTAL BACKLASH.
Well . . . yes. Are we supposed to be surprised? That ‘now’ is ingenuous. Blogging used to be called ‘gossip’. You’ve always needed to be careful what you say over the back fence to your neighbour or to the boss’ secretary over the water cooler**, because you don’t know who they’re going to tell, or who whom they tell will tell. Blogging, it’s just a little more straightforward. You only have to put it out there once and . . . there it is.*** You may be lucky but it seems to me you want to assume that you won’t be and behave accordingly. I’ve had a privacy fetish all my life so I’m not hugely tempted to be indiscreet here, but just as a failsafe I have a short list of people in the back of my mind that I pretend are reading every word (when in fact I’m reasonably sure they wouldn’t be caught dead coming anywhere near a blog by me), and this is like a klieg lamp over the set. Anything that shouldn’t be there is removed immediately, before the cameras start rolling.†
So the article is here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/may/25/digitalmedia.blogging
And my chief reaction is, Where was this girl’s†† brain? I’m sorry for anyone who’s having a miserable time††† but the word ‘twit’ is rising irrepressibly to my lips/fingers. You trash someone in public, they’re really very likely to try to trash you back. I’d hazard that people you’ve slept with are probably going to be especially touchy that way. Someone else who also blogged about her love life is quoted in this article: ‘When the people in my life knew that my interactions with them were potential fodder for something I might write, things changed.’ Gosh. Imagine. So, I wonder who the first detox clinic for out of control all-baring bloggers is going to be named after?
Peter is allowed, we spend a lot of time sitting on opposite sides of the same table, but I get a bit testy at all the ‘ooooh, there’s a blog backlash’ flapdoodle. Anything there is, there’s going to be a backlash. Another universal constant, like the speed of light. ‡ The bigger the thing, the bigger the backlash. Blogging’s got pretty big.‡‡ Duh. And there are always twits, and twits make backlashes so easy.
http://robinhobb.com/rant.html
One of you sent this link to me originally (sorry: I’m supposed to be keeping track of who sends me links now, but this was from back when I was only supplying names with recipes) and I read it and thought it was very funny, and then saw some reactions to it that I thought were a trifle odd: what you might call the wrong kind of serious. She’s making a valid point but she’s doing it, you know, humorously. ‘Vampires of the Internet . . . it is NO COINCIDENCE that blog and blood begin with the same three letters! . . . Look at your hands, where your wrists hover so lightly above your keyboard. What are those minute, strange marks there, on your pulse point? Could they be punctures the size of a pixel? . . .’ People take stuff in more easily when it’s funny, they let their guard down. You can even take the point and still laugh.
You can also still have a blog, if you want to. It’s your life and your time and your decision. ‡‡‡ I like Robin Hobb’s rant.§ Most of the rest of the ‘backlash’ I look at with my yokel face and go, What the–?
* * *
* . . . several days ago. I’m slow. This is not news.
** Do offices have water coolers any more? And did people ever collect around them?
*** The drawback is that it’s harder to change your story. Sure, you can edit, but most people remember what they read better than they remember what they heard. ‘Oh, well, maybe she did say six husbands and £600,000,000. I could have sworn it was two husbands and £50.67 and they argued about who got the kune kune pig.’
† If cameras still roll. They probably just flash digitally at 186,281 blinks per second.
†† Yes. Definitely girl.
††† I’m sorry for child molesters and axe murderers–what a life they’ve given themselves. But I’m sorrier for their victims.
‡ But they’re arguing about it.
‡‡ So big that publishers and agents now think that their authors should be doing it.
‡‡‡ And for the record, this blog doesn’t eat my writing. It eats my life.
§ I wonder if anyone did a mass-mailing^ of Hobb’s rant to publishers?
^ Mass link mailing.
comments
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Wow.
(Generic) you hear a lot about things like this, people saying stupid things on the internet and being all surprised about the backlash, but out of however many millions of blogs the article said there were… I doubt it’s as bad as people make it out to be. Maybe it’s rotten on a smaller scale, but…I don’t know. Maybe I got lucky enough to only read the responsible-types’ blogs?
It seems like common sense to realize that when you put something out there, _you’ve just put something out there._ Anyone with even mild google-fu can find it. I’m a nobody, but even if you search for my name, my website and LJ are the first things that come up. (There are a few other Jodi Meadowses, and I think it’s pretty obvious which ones are Not Me, but I do worry about them sometimes. I don’t want us to be mistaken for each other.)
Blogging isn’t harmless, of course, but…I like it. And I like reading blogs. I like being able to keep up with current friends, and making new friends. :)
Well, newspapers are always looking for the worst, because it sells papers. I doubt it IS that bad. But I also don’t doubt that it’s far worse than you or I want to believe. And when I was first starting out with this one and skimming a lot of blogs just to see what people do with them, I actually found a LOT of blogs saying things I couldn’t believe people were flying out there on the internet. . . .
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Oh yeah, I’m sure it’s not a picnic out there. I mean, there was that one group of “vampires” blogging, and they kept rabbits… *shudder* I don’t know why anyone would talk about animal amuse on the internet, but APPARENTLY THEY ARE THAT STUPID.
I will just cling to the sane people. Or sane enough. Like you! *clings like bad static* ;)
??? Sorry, I am having a Stupid Menopausal Brain spasm, and I don’t understand.
*clings like bad static* ;)
******* LOL! Oh, I LIKE this!!!
It’s a very sad thing on LJ with people who think they’re vampires. They keep rabbits. For…vampirey reasons. They keep them *alive*. I think I told you once, but it was a long time ago. Anyway, it makes me really sad to think about those poor bunnies. :( And people are just stupid enough to talk about their animal abuse on LJ. :S
Oh, ABUSE. Didn’t you typo ‘amuse’ first time?
Yes, I think you have mentioned it before. I think I was trying not to believe it. Um. Why doesn’t lj shut them down? Animal abuse is . . . abuse.
Remember, early on back when you were on LiveJournal, there was some conversation about the scary-ish side of blogging communities and things /the internet, and jmeadows (I think) mentioned that she had come across a group thing on lj for vampires who kept bunnies…..
I too cling like bad static.
You may say that you are out of your mind. But it is definitely a reassuring sense of sanity (perhaps DIFFERENT sanity, but sanity nevertheless…) to be found here.
:)
–Julia
It seems to me the blog is ACCUMULATING a kind of Alternate Sanity, with the help of all its readers. :)
Oh, yes, I did make a typo. I can see how that would be confusing!
I don’t know why LJ wouldn’t shut them down. I only saw the one post about it, and I haven’t look there again. Way too scary. (LJ has some weird issues about who it shuts down and who it doesn’t. And new people keep buying it. I don’t pretend to understand the minds of the people who own LJ.)
I suppose it’s the whole free expression of whatever thing. And maybe none of them have animals and don’t really believe animals count. *I’d* close them down, if I’m understanding you correctly.
I’m happily oblivious to all the weird crap out there… I don’t know how anyone could hurt animals, but I know it happens. Frankly, if I ever met one of those ‘people’, I’d probably punch their lights out. I say ‘people’ in the loosest sense of the word. In that they are humanoid and have personalities.
That is just downright disturbing.
Plus, anyone who is involved with kids (like me- school library) automatically *knows* that you can’t do stupid crap like that. Ever. Not if you want to keep you job, kids, house, etc. Ending up in the wrong neighbourhood of the internet is a Bad Idea, even if just by accident.
*shakes head and boggles at all the stupid people*
/me votes for more bad static effect…
Psst, Robin, your footnote symbols have gone screwy again….
(I had typed a long comment about the dangers of blogging and things being read by those who shouldn’t see them, but the blog pixies and my computer conspired to eat it, and now I can’t remember what I said and I’m tired, so I’m giving in and tletting them win…)
your footnote symbols have gone screwy again
Oh, feh. . . .
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What’s new? People have mined their lives for newspaper columns which are even more permanent than blogs and gotten thumped solidly for it for decades – so why are they surprised when the people they write about read their blogs _and don’t like them_?
Cognitively it is obvious that everything written on a blog should have heavy authorial (is that a word?) censorship, but blogging late at night, in the comfort of my own home, dogs pressed against my chair and feet so that I have to ASK loudly several times for movement so that I don’t tread on anyone, I can imagine that censorship slipping..
I love the failsafe shortlist of several people you know reading every word – I tend to do this when invited to gossip and it is a most effective check to an unruly tongue/ pair of fingers on keyboard.
(southdowner)
It may just be a clear indication of a misspent life. :)
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Surely not?
I asked my dogs and they said they can’t believe that anyone who spends so much time cherishing hellhounds/roses/small native animals in peril could possibly have had a misspent life; as for me they were very cheeky ;)
Oh but one WANTS to have had a misspent life. It gives one such interesting memories. And occasional plot material. :) Not to mention the useful short list. (Hi guys! [waves])
Ooohh! Those misspent memories – everyone should have some :) And yes, how on earth would one write much of anything without some lovely experiences for enrichment – a bit like a good compost – extremely useful, and better than the constituet parts after simmering together ;p
Beasts are waving back – I’ll do a video of that for you if you want? (But not till after the weekend – snowed under til then)
I would LOVE a video of some of the silly things your puppies do! You had eight of them doing Spanish Walk things, didn’t you?
I’ll start with them waving at you, and try to get a couple to hold onto “Yo! McKinley!” signs while it happens – can’t start with our grand finale!!
Okay, I’m ready! Eager, even! :)
Jeez… What a MORON! What did she expect, telling the world everything she knew! OMG!!! LOL!!! Here I am sitting at my computer, reading about her, (and laughing histaricly) and my Fuzzy little Ragdoll kitten Is staring at me like I’m a complete Phsyco. (Not so far off…) Anyway, (I’m still laughing) I knew most people were completely off thier rocker, but not stupid enough to do that. Wow.
I remember chatting around water coolers in the 1970s. Nowadays we talk around the coffee — or, at especially posh emploiyers, espresso — machine.
The whole essay by Emily in the Times Magazine — what articles *are* they turning down, these days? — is nauseating. The lady is infinitely self-obsessed without having achieved any self-knowledge at all. And she seems incapable of comprehending that “if it’s okay for me to do it to them, it’s okay for them to do to me”, far less the Golden Rule.
Pfeh.
Yes. One of the things I can’t help noticing–like all those women who’ve gone out campaigning to keep women at home, well, pardon me, but THEY aren’t–is that SHE’S STILL WRITING ABOUT IT ALL, ISN’T SHE? And she managed to get a half-page spread in a national UK newspaper with a very large, very glossy photo. Is she paying a publicist?
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Mmm. Stories like this always do make me go, seriously? Do people just not THINK about what the internet is and how it works? I mean, my blog gets all of 10 hits per day–most of them either friends, or random google hits who do not actually click over to my blog–and yet I still do not publish my email on it and have taken steps to disassociate it from my real last name. Because, you know–it’s the internet!!
Sheesh…
Uh huh. Like the man said, no one ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the [American] public.
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The combination of indiscretion and stupidity–probably stupidity should be placed first–reaps its own due rewards. It should be obvious to anyone who visits here that you’re neither stupid nor indiscreet, and what you post about is what *you* do (and the hellhounds, of course, but they don’t read), not about anyone else’s doings. That, to me, is not the stuff of which backlashes are made. You do call it “Days in the Life,” after all, not “Dishing the Dirt”–but hey, you’re a gardener, you could have done… :)
I can understand how one might think that Mr. Perot’s celebrated “giant sucking sound” was a prescient reference to The Blog (especially if one is the blog writer), speaking as one who frequently drops in at 1:30 a.m.. On the other hand, speaking as one who won’t be home until God knows when Sunday night and made two previous trips in May* and really wants to stay home for a while, it has to be better than extended book tours involving airports/flying/bad food/illiterate interviewers and probably even more unimagined dreary discomforts.**
*Dog shows are another instance of the giant sucking sound in action.
**Rhododendrons and azaleas and iris are blooming here, plus the last of the dogwoods; today was as perfect a New England day as there could be, which is hard to beat, but I’m still in a damn hotel and the charm of that has long since worn off.
And the worst is . . . here I have RUINED MY LIFE to create a blog, because I chose blogging over touring, right? THEY’RE TRYING TO GET ME TO TOUR ANYWAY. I’ve definitively fended them off for CHALICE but they’re going to get the thumbscrews out for PEGASUS. Maybe by that time [very unfunny joke alert] all the airport precautionary measures will have rendered touring impossible ANYWAY.
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Don’t tour – hire a hall in Hampshire somewhere (Winchester is very nice, and Southampton easy to access) and we’ll descend in droves :) I’ll bring playmates for the hellhounds unless you want them as the encore?
Please. All *three* of my British readers are ON this blog. I can just have you round for tea and cookies.
I’m torn between saying “Yes, please!” and offering to bring scones and jam, and offering a rant about bookshops which don’t carry McK authors.
Most of my new reads (certainly pre this blog lol) have come from shelf-browsing. Not one bookshop in Birmingham has had Dragonhaven, and Borders and Waterstones both recommended Amazon…
(bangs head against pile of books just bought from Amazon; spends several minutes picking up dozens of books, including several Diana Wynne Jones)
DRAGONHAVEN was turned down by my British publisher; it’s not available over here. Story of my life pretty much. Merrilee says she’ll find me a NEW British publisher but . . . don’t get me started on this one either. I was OP here for my first decade living here and then I had such a nightmarish time with my publisher–and such rotten sales–I was RELIEVED when DRAGONHAVEN was turned down.
If you are forced to go on tour then make it a *good one* and head to Oz in autumn. :) Cuz then I can show you the roses. :)) And hand you fresh eccles cakes.
Belle says she will send some of her treats back for the Hellhounds too. ;)
I’ll keep it in mind. But American publishers don’t generally spring for expenses to Oz. And I’m not J K Rowling.
Can you EVER satisfy publishers? Lordy be. The airlines here are now charging people a fee for each piece of checked luggage so maybe by the time PEGASUS comes up, the fares will scare the publishers off (I am assuming that they pay your expenses). Is it really clear that touring generates more sales? As a public radio junkie, I hear a lot of call-ins and interviews with touring authors, which for the most part I find interesting, but that doesn’t *always* make me go out and buy the books. (And just as well, too, because the shelves do not have infinite capacity . . .) They wouldn’t send you out on a tour just because Everybody Does It, would they?
(I am assuming that they pay your expenses).
******** They certainly do. I do NOTHING without my expenses paid.
Is it really clear that touring generates more sales?
********** NO IT IS NOT. Don’t get me started . . .
**Please. All *three* of my British readers are ON this blog. I can just have you round for tea and cookies.**
Is that an invitation? ;-)
(and I’m sure there are more than three of us…)
Absolutely. We can have Robincon with workshops on bell-ringing, composing and cake-making. Also panels where nobody says anything nasty about books. It would be…different. But hire the village hall, as there are more than three of us out there!
This is starting to get . . . interesting. :)
I can just have you round for tea and cookies.
Deal.
But I think you severely underestimate your readership. And if they want you to tour, that’s a good sign. Just make sure you mention the ME and scale down whatever they want to schedule you for. And double-check the distances, NY publicists are, allegedly sometimes somewhat geographically challenged.
(This is not helped by American Road Atlases being organised by state name and scales so that most states – unless they’re particularly huge – will fit on one double page. This makes them all look the same size…)
Yes. Rhode Island and Alaska. Same size!
I’m not underestimating my *British* readership. As I say, all three of you read this blog. Well, maybe six. (Okay, six would challenge my tea-and-cookies party. I’ve had I think five people in the cottage sitting room to ring handbells, but it was tight. Maybe Third House . . . ) It’s the Americans who want me to tour.
Make it a weekend afternoon and you may have a Greek reader popping over too. If you haven’t banished her for insubordination and uppeti-ness in the meantime:)
No, I’ll just have my whip behind the door. And I’ll move it around nonchalantly a few times when I let you in. :)
*jealous sigh!* *wishes for Britishness!* ;)
Oh, that’s OK. I grew up in the same bedroom with my entirely horse mad sister. The whips were always around and were occasionally swung nonchalantly in the air. The latin dancing helps you swivel and swerve to avoid being hit :)
Now this is getting even MORE interesting. :)
This is giving me all these great ideas. You could have southdowner teach a session on dog training (maybe by that point in time you could have BOTH hellhounds wave their paws….). Susan from Athens could provide the food… no, on second thought, maybe everyone could bring some food. Or maybe (because of food regulations or something) that would be a separate evening event after everyone else left. But Susan from Athens could DEFINITELY do her Latin-Dancing-to-avoid-whips routine. And don’t forget the gardening discussions.
The problems with humidity are not confined to the garden and damp clothes not drying …
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/05/28/funny-pictures-humidittee-i-haetz-it
Good thing the Hellhounds are short-haired…… ;)
ROTFL!!!!! Gods, what IS it??!??
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*giggles*
http://ihasahotdog.com/2008/05/27/funny-dog-pictures-what-he-was-in-mah-spot
Yes! We re-enact this one! :)
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I’ve been blogging for 5 years. I’m obviously just not very interesting as I don’t have anything like the audience that some of these ppl do – or maybe it’s that I don’t blog anything I wouldn’t discuss with a whole group of ppl and not just friends at that.
I think if you do it sensibly you’ll be OK – it’s the definition of sensible that seems to defeat most ppl. But it does take up a lot of time.
I read the original article when it was posted on NYTimes.com and my thoughts were similar to yours- I’m supposed to feel sorry for this woman? What did she think was going to happen? She was careless with those she loved in order to pursue her own self-interest. Good grief. I’m with you. And I enjoyed Robin Hobbs’ rant.
And she still hasn’t really learned. This is why I’m expected the detox centres to start popping up. There’s already a some psychiatric category for people who Net Too Much. There must be one for people who Blog Too Much And About the Wrong Things by now too.
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I have to say that the news media seems to focus on the obvious and somewhat stupid. Really, posting private information about yourself is not such a good idea. Why I’m so shocked. I’m even more annoyed that the news media needed to write an article about it. Next we will see an article that spilling hot coffee in you lap may burn you. Oh wait, that lawsuit and subsequent reporting has already happened. Sigh…..
Allergies are making me grumpy. I live in Philadelphia, and it is BEAUTIFUL today. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right. I stick my head out doors and start sneezing. Sniffle.
I loved the Robin Hobb rant. I didn’t see any responses there. Hmm. I’m intrigued after you comments about the responses.
I just emailed my parents “I has a sweet potato”. They rescue large dogs (rottweillers, dobermans, etc.) that other people see as too aggressive to try to help. I think my folks are still laughing abotu the post. They make their own dog food (A WHOLE LOT) and store it in a fridge in the basement where the dogs live. The dogs learned how to open the fridge. My parents had to put a padlock on the door.
Oh dear, I missed the hot coffee, er, suit.
Um . . . homeopathy is very good for hay fever . . . I speak from experience (on both sides of the prescription, so to speak).
The dogs learned how to open the fridge. My parents had to put a padlock on the door.
********** LOL! –You mean they have SEVERAL of these large aggressive dogs at ONCE?? Golly. They’re strong characters.
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It is amazing (but, perhaps, not surprising) that people can read something like the RobinHobb rant and 1-not recognize the humor for what it is and 2-not recognize, at least a little bit, the truth it speaks to all of us. What else can/could we be doing that is uniquely our gift (like writing) that is subsumed to the GREAT GOD COMPUTER (whether blogs or just random use)?
Ah, moderation in all things–even in moderation!
PS Speaking of blogs and LJ–on LJ any responses to my comments came directly to my email so I knew they existed. Now that is not the case. The choices seem to be to have every comment ever made come to my email (help!) or look at all the comments on the site.
Are there any other more time efficient alternatives?
Please ask Blogmom.
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How do I do this?
What?
In response to your question, yes, offices do have water coolers and, in my experience, people do tend to collect in the general vicinity of them (although in our case that’s because the cooler is located in the kitchen and it seems to be human nature for people to gather in kitchens).
I dunno . . . I think as soon as it has a big businesslike water cooler in it it ceases to be a *kitchen* . . .
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Why I don’t blog every day.
** Do offices have water coolers any more? And did people ever collect around them?
Yes (to the first question) and not really (to the second).
The water coolers are usually filtered water these days. Big offices (like the one I’m currently temping at) have big machines that also dispense ice. Smaller ones typically have the stands with inverted large bottles that are replaced as the bottle empties. The bottles are maybe 5 gallons, which is frelling heavy, especially when you’re holding it at chest height & turning it upside down trying to seat it into the stand. It glugs nicely, though, once it’s there.
Gossiping is mostly either email (for jokes) or out front among the herd of smokers taking ciggy breaks (for things you don’t want potentially monitored). For the healthier set, there’s always the AHA-recommended walk-at-lunch exchange. Microwaves are a key location as well, while waiting for popcorn or insta-meals in cardboard.
(I’ve been temping for about 3 years this time ’round & have been to probably 20 different offices, so I’m drawing upon a pretty good sample. It’s a very entertaining way of paying the bills, by the bye, if you don’t mind the sporadic paychecks. Beats retail, even bookstore-retail: less tiring, better pay, AND weekends off. No mad lemming season (er, holiday shopping season), either.)
:)
Dawn
LOL! Thank you! The world awaits your Barbara Ehrenreich-like expose on office workers!
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Yes, extraordinary, the way some people seem to spray details of their intimate feelings and actions (and those of their friends/family/lovers) all over the net, and via phone calls while on trains (did I really need to know what I now know about the private life of the woman sitting behind me on the train this evening…). I’m not sure if many humans have always had this propensity, if the growth of so-called reality TV programmes (all of which, without exception, I find nauseous) is fostering it alongside easy online publishing, or what. It just seems so…gross! I don’t think it’s entirely a generational thing, either.
I shall continue to cling fervently to an old-fashioned British reserve…:)
Yes! People on phones on trains! I’d forgotten about them! I can’t *imagine* what these people are thinking of! –Or rather, how they can be so clearly NOT thinking! Even if they are sure EVERYONE on the train is a TOTAL STRANGER, which they canNOT be, why do they want to broadcast their sordid details to strangers either!!!! It’s like having your skirt tucked in your pantyhose only VOLUNTARY!
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Well, at least your community here is wonderfully decorous! :) I have never found, among all the interesting links to other blog owners who comment here, anything remotely cringeworthy. Good manners and net-awareness rule!
I have wondered, on particularly trying occasions, if it’s worth tackling someone apparently determined to foist their phone conversations into one’s ear. Would it be received as was Richard Griffiths’ address to the phonaholic in his audience (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4462350.stm) or would one just get embarrassed looks all round…?
What a morale-boosting article. Yes. I don’t know. But I can tell you I once asked a woman who had been on her phone for SEVERAL MINUTES in the so called no-mobile car to please ring off and it had no effect whatsoever. Nor did anyone else support me. I considered becoming nasty, but there’s enough automatic American-bashing in this country, I don’t wish to add another story to the phobics’ arsenal.
It’s not just trains either. I mean ten years ago, if you heard a man or woman shouting while walking, you quickly crossed the street to avoid contact with the rabid loony (apologies to people with serious mental / psychological problems but there were a number of people you would want to avoid close personal contact with). Nowadays, as likely as not, it’s an idiot on a phone – still worthy of avoidance at all costs, if not more so.
Yes. Mobile phones. They fry your brains AND make you look like a jibbering idiot while they get on with that task.
Yes, it does seem to be common sense not to publish things on the internet that you wouldn’t want everyone to read. As a general rule of thumb, I try when writing about other people to imagine that those people know that I’m writing this about them, and that people in two categories might read it: a) complete strangers, and b) someone that those other people know and aren’t very comfortable with (or perhaps actively dislike). Is what I’m going to write something that the people I’m writing about would be okay with people in those two categories learning about them? I find that this helps me stay out of trouble. (I also use those two categories when writing personal things about myself although I worry less about that because if I share something and later find out that it got to the eyes of something I didn’t want it to, well, I’m probably going to be the only one to suffer, rather than dragging my friends into it. Still not pleasant, but at least I had the option of saying no.)
Well, Peter, Hannah, and occasionally Oisin, that I know of, read this blog. This helps keep me alert. :)
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I made a couple of posts yesterday afternoon that haven’t appeared, but I think a few more are new. Did mine get eaten?
If you’ve been losing posts, ask Blogmom – she’s found lots of mine floating in cyberspace and now I’ve sorted it out with her help
“waves” at Blogmom – hi!
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